One Whole Week
by RchHghr
Summary: Tonks is hurt and unable to take care of herself so who is to step in? Severus Snape. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

To everyone who read my One Week story I took it down and am redoing it. I did the whole thing on paper so everything will go smoothly, I hope. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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"It was so nice to see you again Tonks, I can't believe it's been," the black haired girl said trying to count on her fingers, "forever since we were at Hogwarts, and you know what Tonks," she giggled.

"What?" giggled the metamorphmangus who was finishing her fifth beer. She was so drunk and up in the clouds that everything felt light and her mind was spinning, but it felt good. It also felt good to be drunk with an old friend from school who was drunk as well.

"You, you're just the girl I remember, crazy and cool, my good friend Tonks." The two giggled and clinked empty beer mugs together.

Her friend set her glass down. She looked at Tonks, a defeated look and said, "I love you and all, but it's-" she looked at her watch, not comprehending it, said, "late and I have work in the morning so I better get home and crash in the doorway."

Tonks stood up and gave her a hug and they kissed cheeks before the dark haired girl stumbled out.

Tonks was not ready to just get up and leave yet. She knew herself and if she stood up one more time she would fall over and break her ankle or something. Her luck wasn't so good and she was extremely clumsy.

Plus, she needed to apparate home and needed to be mildly sober to do that. Plus Remus was supposed to return home early in the morning and she wanted to wake-up in bed and see him before she went to work.

"Ah shit," she grumbled, elbow on table and her cheek crammed on it. The whole place was spinning and she felt so dizzy.

The people around her laughed, talked and had a good time while she felt alone. It sucked to drink alone and since Alana had left she felt drained and drunk, a combination she didn't need when she was alone.

With foggy eyes she scanned the bar for anyone she recognized and saw that Severus Snape, long time Potion's master at Hogwarts had arrived and was looking for an empty spot to sit. His eyes landed on Tonks.

It was company, it wasn't the best but it was what she was asking for. She held up a hand to beacon him over and he slowly made his way, looking like he didn't want to be there at all.

"Good evening Professor," she said brightly, mood instantly lifting, even if it was just him, the one who straddled the fence when it came to the choice of good versus evil.

"You're slurring," he said dead-panned. It was pretty obvious that he was amused but he wasn't going to show it.

"I am not," she slowly countered back, not exactly knowing for sure what she sounded like.

"You're gone, no more for you." He ordered himself a drink.

The young bartender looked at Tonks and said, "Can I get anything for you, miss?"

"Ye-"she started but Snape cut in with a, "No."

"Ignore him," she chuckled finding him hilarious, "He's no fun, but uhh, nothing for me, but maybe just a glass of water, I have work in the morning."

"Sure," he said, high tailing it away from Snape's serious stare which made Tonks laugh.

"Why did you think you could control what I drank or not?" she asked trying to be serious, but it wasn't working in her stupor state.

"Because you're incompetent to know your limit." It was his answer and it came out like anything else he said, dull and flat.

The bartender put the two glasses down and walked away quickly. Why was he so afraid of Snape?

"I'm fine to have a little fun, and Alana and I, we were catching up. Plus, I'm just going home after this."

He looked relieved, even in a glint in his eye that he wasn't there to witness their jabber. But then he thought of her second answer and said, "You won't even make it. Somehow you'll manage to stand up, small miracle, then it's downhill from there." He took a sip from his glass.

"You think I will, huh?"

"Yes," he answered without any hesitation.

"Well, then I better leave so you can see the show." She rapped the table with her knuckles, silver ring clinking; she stood up, 'Snape's small miracle.'

"Sit down Nymphadora," he commanded quietly. She didn't even see his mouth move. "Keep in my company for a little while longer."

"You just put me down and wanted to get ride of me and now you want me to stay like nothing happened?"

"Yes," he answered, finishing his drink.

She wobbled a millisecond, moving some lavender hair off her face and said, "I'm drunk, not stupid. Something is going down here and you're milking it off my unsuspecting self!" She accused him harshly, but only loud enough for him to hear, not that anyone was paying attention. The place was loud and rambunctious with everyone enjoying their company and 'party.'

"I know something that is very valuable to you and if you don't sit down and listen it will be trouble for you and embarrassment."

"You know," she used one hand to clutch her chair and not fall over and leaned in pointing one finger in his face said, "I don't believe you. I don't trust you because you straddle the fence and it's always your name that comes up when commotion happens so I think I'll leave it at this and bid you a nice unseasonable night and a bright sunny morning."

"You'll regret-"

She was already stumbling and collided with a patron, but everything was cool between them so she pushed out the door to the vacant night.

Hauling herself to a stop she sighed holding her wand out.

"Ohhhhh, a family reunion? What do I owe this sight of my favorite niece?" Bellatrix LeStrange crackled and Tonks had to crane her head up to see her standing atop the roof of the Three Broomsticks. Another man was with her, only he was dark as the night with white beady eyes. He said nothing, nor did he move.

"My favorite aunt," she challenged back, the alcohol making her brave; very brave, "Out of Draco and myself I'm glad that I'm your favorite," she slurred. She actually heard herself this time and cursed herself this time because it was so obvious to Severus Snape before it was obvious to her.

"Soon enough Draco will only be the next line in this family."

"Ah man, you're casting me out like my cousin," she pleaded sarcastically, thinking it so funny but finding herself not able to laugh.

Two men in heavily cloaked shadows appeared behind her. Her defenses increased. She was very clumsy on her feet, but very skilled, but now taken in accord she was drunk. It was going to be very difficult and she as difficultly outnumbered with two more now to her left.

"Aw auntie, you don't mean that, you know how close we are." She tried to buy herself some time and figure out something, anything to do.

"You and your Muggle loving mother and that wolf, and, and all of you! Once you're all down it'll be easier to penetrate the Order and destroy you all!" She crackled again and with the wave of her hand and a spell streaming out her wand it was on.

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Everything hurt. Everything. She didn't feel like moving, not even opening her eyes; it would only hurt too much.

The only perk was that there was something good smelling, even though it hurt to breathe. She didn't know where she was and what exactly happened. All she had recollection of was that her aunt let her have it, and she knew she wouldn't heal completely anytime soon.

A tear lingered in her right eye, and then slowly made its way down her cheek. She wasn't going to be able to see Remus and it made her sad that she couldn't see him because she needed him the most right now and wasn't able to move or stop feeling pain.

She listened but didn't hear a thing. She felt no danger but with the whole situation she knew that she was a failure and a disgrace to everything she stood for.

Unconsciousness took over as she felt something, a spell strike her and that was it.

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That was the first chapter. Next chapter should be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Tonks woke again, only this time the sun filtered in through the windows casting streaks of light with fluttering dust particles. She sat up on the couch feeling so much better than before. She was in a night shirt and her arms were bandaged. Her cheek had a decent size one as well and her left leg was taken care of as were her feet.

Someone had helped her and no matter how hard she tried to wrack her brain she could not remember a lot from the previous night and it bothered her.

She was supposed to be better than them, above them, stronger and know better. Instead she had gotten drunk and jumped by a bunch of death eaters.

Still, someone had helped her and because of that she was at headquarters, asleep on the couch.

Remus!

It had to be him. He was supposed to be returning this morning so maybe he was there last night.

Tonks scrambled off the couch and with easy exertion she limped upstairs and opened the door to the room they had shared so many times but he wasn't there. The bed was still made and nothing was taken out of place since she was last in the room.

The metamorphosis checked the rest of the house but nobody was there at all and it looked like nobody had been there since the last meeting.

So he didn't come. Maybe he was delayed back. But if so who saved her last night? She wanted to ponder it harder but only had enough time to get ready and make it into work.

-

She made it into the elevator in time before the doors closed and stood next to Kingsley, her favorite Senior Auror and best friend.

"You look like crap," he commented out of the side of his mouth giving the impression he hadn't spoken at all.

"I feel like it, but you know, thanks for telling me something that I already know," she answered back making it apparent that she didn't care who heard because they all saw it with their eyes.

"So today's front page is true?" he asked as they exited at their stop and walked.

Front page?

Kingsley followed her to her desk where today's Daily Prophet laid with the big-printed headline: _Drunken Auror: Just what the Ministry provides._

"What!?" She sat down slowly with her friend's help and read the article which said that she came across a few of the death eaters who escaped Azkaban and instead of the action of fighting them she was drinking and stumbling around, a lost cause. The article ended with the writer questioning whether or not the ministry qualifies accurate Aurors or not.

"Bullshit!" she rolled up the paper and put it in the garbage can. She kicked the underside of her desk three times which caused excessive pain in her leg causing tears to well up in her eyes.

Kingsley put a hand on her shoulder, "Come here Tonks."

She stood up and fell into Kingsley's embrace, crying now, loudly into his robes with his arms tightly around her. She released all her stresses, worries, angers and sadness's into him not caring who heard or what they were doing.

"It's not even like that, it's not true. It's fabricated to hide the truth. It's all lies. Nobody helped me, nob-"

Kingsley tapped her on the shoulder and she broke away from him quickly.

"Miss Tonks may I see you in my office," Tonk's supervisor said and Tonks wiped her eyes, calming herself and walked painfully after the bitter old woman. It felt like pillage, like her many times at Hogwarts to the Headmaster's office.

The article, it was only a matter of time before she saw it, before everybody saw it, before they saw the one that they weren't so sure about, now they were sure about not be compliant to her job.

She walked with eyes taking in her sight and burning angry holes into her. If they needed proof, it was her walking they used to prove to themselves that the article was true.

In the office she preferred to stand with it being too painful to just sit down and get back up again. Whoever helped her did not do such a good job; wounds were visible and still oozing. She needed to change her bandages soon and she needed something for the pain.

Her supervisor sat her small, pudgy self behind her desk with the Daily Prophet face up to show the front page.

"You know what I have to say," she acted upon; hands crossed like she was some school authority, rather than a Ministry Supervisor.

Tonks hated the lady ever since she became her supervisor one year ago. She looked at Tonks clearly with disgust, up and down. The lady didn't like that she was a metamorphosis and that she was very clumsy always sticking her nose up at her like she was some kind of bad food.

She barked commands at the girl clearly trying to get under her skin and Tonks knew that and she ignored it because she knew that if she snapped judgment at the lady than it would be done for her and she would be fired.

"No, what?" She played dumb.

"Nymphadora-"

How much she wanted to sock the woman….

"-Tonks, I want to know the meaning of this audacity, this soiling on your part. How can you-"

"The story is wrong, fabrication at its best."

"So," she said in a sweet, sickening voice, "You weren't drunk last night?"

"I was, but in case you haven't cared to notice I wasn't working, nor did I have the intention of coming across them." Just the memory of the whole thing made her body hurt, a lot.

"You do have an image to uphold, honestly-"

"I was seriously outnumbered, plenty of other's in there who could've helped. My conditions are the price I paid for lack on other people." She thought of Severus and how he had tried to warn her but because she didn't like him so much she didn't believe him.

"Tonks, dear-"

Gag.

"I don't believe you. You're incompetence has been monitored for quite some time, especially last night in the Three Brooms-"

"That's not fair, to sit there when I was almost killed," she shrieked totally not being able to believe it.

"A few of us think it's best right now that for an unclosed amount of time that you remain on desk duty to gather and straighten out your priorities."

"What? No. I did nothing wrong, if anything I am the victim here."

"Till we figure everything out, it's best. You may leave."

As painfully as her body felt and adding with clenched fists and gritted teeth she walked out before she could pull her want out and do something that she'd regret. Well, maybe not regret but would cause her so many more problems.

Her patience was officially gone for the day; anyone else to bother her would feel her wrath.

The thought to leave was so tempting, very tempting indeed but she needed the money and the company of her friends no matter where they were in the building.

She went back to her desk where there was a note that said, 'See you tonight.' She knew what it meant. If anyone else was to see it they would think she had a secret rendezvous with one of her co-workers and nine times out of ten they would think it was Kingsley Shacklebolt.

But she didn't care what anybody else thought. She knew who her true friends were and didn't care about anybody else because they talked all the time, even before when she was in training. It used to bother her but now she knew better than to let it.

She threw the parchment away and idled the day away avoiding everyone as much as possible.

-

After work, the worst day in quite a while she had only one thing on her mind, Remus. He hadn't come last night or this morning so maybe he was there now waiting for her to come home so he could wrap his arms around her and tell her how much he had missed her and all about his crazy adventures of struggle, pain, but mostly triumph. She knew he was strong and capable of a lot.

At Grimwald Place she ran up to their room only to see that it was mostly the same except that his travelling cloak was gone so maybe he was out, her denial cried to her, but something caught her attention, a folded piece of paper sticking out from under the pillow. Sitting on the bed she slowly moved it out and unfolded it. She read:

My dearest Nymphadora,

Everyday goes by and makes me miss you so much. I know it may pain you, for my absence but I think it's best for you if you move on and find someone who can be there for you, the way that I can't. I don't know if I'll be back so I don't want you to suffer. Please, for me, don't suffer. Whenever I'm in tough times I'll think of you and the happiness that you are experiencing. Please don't be sad, you're perfect and I want you to be with someone who knows that. Please remember me the way I was. I will love you always.

Yours Remus Lupin

Tonks didn't understand why she wasn't breathing, but realizing she desperately retained a gasp and a sob fell out with it. She reread the letter again and with shaky hands the letter fell out of them onto the floor and she cried.

He was gone. He left without even saying goodbye to her, or even just in person. He was gone and by the way of his letter he wasn't coming back and even if he did he didn't want her anymore.

He didn't want her.

Saddened she laid down on the bed with her body in pain and cried making herself feel worst than she already did. Everything was going wrong, everything. Nothing would go her way.

-

Tonks awoke to someone closing the front door and sat up quickly. There was a meeting later tonight she had to remember. It couldn't be that time already? Could it? She felt her cheeks and checked herself in the mirror. Her bandages were seeping with blood, her cheeks were pink with fever, and her hair was a short nasty brown that she couldn't change since the other night. It hurt too much to transform and because she was in so much pain her mood sagged so her appearance faltered and she was left looking like and feeling like a mess.

She found a skull cap, one her mother made for her and put it on. If they couldn't see her hair they couldn't analyze her for the whole meeting. They would see the bandage on her cheek but then again everybody probably already read the paper and people liked to gossip; everyone liked to gossip.

She pulled on some clothes over her arms and pajama pants over her legs. The meeting wasn't starting yet; there was still the time to change when the time came.

She went downstairs. In the kitchen she was glad to find that it was only Mrs. Weasley and she smiled at Tonks.

"Hello dear, how are you?" she asked politely, like the motherly figure she was.

Tonks shrugged. "It's only you here, right?" she asked, looking around before she planted herself on the table.

"Nobody else. Is there something you want to talk about?" She showed genuine concern. She was a genuine person. She was a real person who cared about everyone before herself and always helped when she possibly could.

Dangling her legs off the table she sighed a defeated sigh and said, "Can you change my bandages?" She said it weakly, already breaking down by everything she wanted to say. It all wanted to come out but she was trying to hold it in but failed miserably.

"Yes, of course," the matronly woman said conjuring the right supplies. She set everything up and Tonks rolled her pants legs up and shirt sleeves up to reveal her arms and legs. The older woman sat on the bench and began to work.

Tonks sniffed back a sob. How could a simple gesture mean so much?

Oh right, when everything was crashing down.

"Let it out," the older woman said. Tonks looked into her eyes, tears already running down. She put her face into her hands and cried, like she did in the office. She let it out once again knowing even then that it still wouldn't be enough and she'd still be miserable.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, finishing with the first arm which had a warming sensation. She switched sides to work on the second.

Tonks sniffed a few times and wiped her eyes, careful not to tap the bandage on her cheek. She looked to the ceiling then back at the ground and said, "You've seen today's-"

The door in the living room opened as someone quietly stepped in. Tonks gave Molly a look and the woman nodded.

"So how are the kids?" She asked her tone neutral. She didn't know who was at the door, so she didn't speak of her personal matters.

The door to the kitchen opened and Severus Snape came in.

-

Review. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

Looking at the scene in front of him he said to Molly, "I can take care of this." He referred this to Tonks which she found offensive. He referred to her as if she was an item instead of a person.

"It's okay Severus," Molly said, "I can handle it." She smiled sincerely.

Tonks looked at him and he jerked his head a tiny bit to the side in an attempt to tell her that he really needed to talk to her in private.

"Molly thanks. He can handle the rest."

Molly gave both of them a look unsure about the whole thing but gave a curt nod and disappeared into the house.

Snape took her place and put her foot on his lap and looked down at her lime green toe nails.

"You're not serious," he deadpanned.

"Stop looking at them," she said. She liked them but because she had an orange t-shirt on she wanted to change them to orange but couldn't, for a while anyways.

"Pajamas? You're shot," he went on clearly not caring how he made her feel.

"Look if you came here to put me down I can call Molly back here and she could do it."

He worked the bandage with care. On the right leg there wasn't much to do. He said, "You should have listened."

Of course. She should have known it was going to come up. Why else would he be here?

"What in the past ever gave me reason to believe so? To believe in anything you have to say?" she asked. She liked the cooling sensation from Mrs. Weasley but when he did it, it was different. It was nice. Whatever he was using it was helping, it was helping a lot.

"You should've just taken my word."

It was easier said than done. She couldn't and even if she could go back she wouldn't have still trusted him. There was just something about him that was untrustworthy no matter what was going on.

"What did you know that I didn't? What were you going to tell me?" she asked quietly. Her body was beginning to feel so much better. She unrolled her sleeves and put her pants legs down in his silence.

Was he speechless?

"You see that's the thing Nymph-"

"Can you cut that out?" she broke in breaking off his sentence. Why did he have to do that all the time?

"No," he answered quite frankly not even in the slightest bit bothered that he was offending her. "Nymphadora," he continued, "that was going to be the thing. For the information I was going to share with you I was going to ask for something in return. It would have been fair. Everything comes with a price."

She should have guessed. Gently he lifted her chin so she wasn't looking at the ground and removed the bandage on her cheek and cleaned the wound. Trying to avoid his eyes she could still see everything out of their corners.

He had tried to warn her, he really had and she didn't listen. Something told her deep down, she didn't know where and if she did she would squash it but it told her that even though she didn't listen she should do whatever it was that he wanted from her in return.

Once he was done with that he put a hand on her other cheek. "Why do you have a fever?"

His hand was ice cold and she got a bad vibe from it so she moved to the side and put both hands on her cheeks to feel for herself and she felt just how warm she was. She knew why she was so warm with fever, crying because of Remus. It stayed out of her mind but now it was back and she felt miserable.

But before she could become down and out she remembered what she had to ask.

"So what do you want in return?" she asked.

"I couldn't complete my side; it's unfair if you had to yours."

"I still want to do it," she replied scratching her hair through the cap.

He studied her as if looking for a lie. She watched back. He didn't use _**Legemency**_on her so it couldn't be that serious.

"Fine." He listened a moment to see where Mrs. Weasley was and they both heard that she was upstairs doing something. Still he leaned in close. "In Hogsmade there is an underground market-"

She already knew.

"And I want you to go in there and buy an onyx cut-"

"That's very illegal. You know what can happen to you if you're caught with one of those?"

"That's why I'm sending you in there." He held up his hand to silence what would be an outburst and said, "There's more. Besides only those in the illegal arts know where it is, it is simple to just walk in and purchase the overly priced item. But leaving town someone will be sure to follow you, track you down and take it back by prying it from your cold dead fingers. They will put it back on display and have earned your profits. You come in because of what you are. No spell, no detection, you get out hop into a community place and simply change your appearance."

The way he said the whole thing, the whole casualness didn't bother her. It was something petty; he wanted her to do his dirty work for him.

"That's it?"

He nodded once.

"Yeah, that's- I can't do it yet." She remembered her problem and had to wait a few more days before she could transform again.

"I figured that," he said monotonously, "I'm in no hurry. By the end of the week is fine with me."

She nodded feeling very tired and hungry but still there was one more thing she had to know.

"What happened to me last night? Who saved me? Healed me? Where was I?" She asked. She felt very light headed and really wanted to sleep. She cracked here eyes open from falling shut; she was just so suddenly tired.

"I will enlighten you later." He left the kitchen and out the front door. When the door shut she took her wand and conjured a blanket and wrapped it around herself and dropped her feet to the floor and went into the living room where Mrs. Weasley was sitting on the couch knitting what looked to be a baby blanket with its soft and bright colors.

Tonks went right over to the woman and lay down, right against her thigh making herself comfortable and warm.

Mrs. Weasley looked down at her, maybe a smile on her face but resumed her knitting.

Tonks liked that she didn't have to talk with this lady and could just lay there and listen to the clanking of her knitting needles as they went this way and that. She closed her eyes enjoying the silence.

It didn't take long, no matter how much she tried to rid him from her mind and for it to come crashing down. He was gone and most likely he wouldn't be coming back and to say that she should just move on, it was easier said than done. Even if he was already moving on, even if he wasn't with somebody else he should know that she wasn't going to move on. Still, he made it very difficult.

She shut her eyes tighter. "Can you wake me a little before everyone starts to arrive? I don't want to look like a mess for the meeting tonight." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure dear," the older woman answered never stopping her knitting.

"Thanks." She let the clanking drift her off to sleep. She knew that she would never be able to knit; everything would just come out in a giant tangle and just become a mess.

-

-

Mrs. Weasley woke her up and she went upstairs to her room and made herself decent and at least presentable for the meeting. Wearing long sleeves she kept her cap on with all of her hair behind it. She still hurt all over and lying curled up on the couch made it worst, a lot worse. Her limbs felt tight and all she wanted was a massage from Remus.

No.

She promised herself that she wasn't going to think of him and keep her demise as calm as possible, nothing showing on her face besides the bandage; nothing anybody can question or show concern for.

She went downstairs where some of the members were already arriving and smiled in greeting to them except to Kingsley in which she gave a hug.

"Thought you'd be feeling better considering how you hate your job and the supervisor to go with it."

"Yeah, you know I wasn't thinking about it until now, thank you very much." She slugged him in the arm and went over to Hestia who looked very tired after a long hard day's work.

"Long day?" Tonks asked.

"Long day," Hestia agreed and the two girls went into the kitchen.

-

-

She knew that she was going to be the point of topic, but still she felt nervous. She knew these people, but sometimes what everyone saw and thought she said was too strong.

Plus the story was front page. Instead of some important story, it was her personal life turned work related that punctured the front page. It was a waste and even so it affected her life most importantly.

Now besides worrying about that there was another factor to the whole story: because there was no capture of any Death Eater the might consider her one of the Dark Lord's secret followers. They would turn it into drama.

At least there was no picture. If there was it would have been a lot worse.

When Dumbledore arrived it was the first topic he brought up which suddenly made it her "negative" fifteen minutes of fame.

"Can you please tell us what happened?"

"Yes sir," she respected. She didn't know if she had to stand or not but she didn't. She sat but instead of slouching she sat up attentively and said, "My own personal affairs were affiliated when I was attacked. Clearly, by my supervisor there were others in the place but I received no help and managed to scrape by suffering injuries."

She looked around not to see their reactions but not to make in obvious that she wanted to see Snape's reaction. She didn't know if he wanted his business spread around. She saw a slight nod so she kept her mouth shut on that subject, but continued on telling them that it was an ambush and not the lies the Daily Prophet was spreading. And she finished it off knowingly accusing every one of them of reading the paper and shifting their gazes.

She sat back and the attention was shifted back to Dumbledore much to her relief.

But Snape cut in, "Sir, may I project-"

"You may," Dumbledore allowed with the wave of his hand.

"In legion with the Dark Lord small groups have formed in secrecy and as Miss. Nymphadora Tonks has clearly demonstrated by example she was attacked by one of these groups. Certain people have been targeted and she, along with a few others are targets."

That she didn't know and it made her sit straight up with anger on her face. Her aunt was not only a follower of Voldermort but she was also a deviant one with her own master plan and her niece Tonks was the main target.

"The best course of action is to keep Nymphadora on the low key for a little while," Dumbledore said agreeing whole-heartedly with Snape.

Tonks didn't say anything. She was still mad about being targeted and being so stupid about the whole thing. She sat the rest of the meeting without another word inwardly fuming about just how stupid she was and how she was just no good at being an Auror and how everything was only failing and just plainly feeling sorry for herself.

Every feeling that she had, pain from her injuries and the fever from before came creeping back with a vengeance. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed, under the covers and not come out for a very, very long time.

She heard the kids running around upstairs and wished she was up there having fun instead of worrying about all the stuff that was going on and being a target.

At least Fred and George, even though they couldn't make this meeting were there at meetings to bring even the littlest of joys to the meetings which were always downing and very sobering.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

While everyone was enjoying the wonderful meal that Mrs. Weasley had prepared Tonks went into the living room and sat on the couch. She sighed sadly. She put her face in her hands and pulled at her cap.

The front door opened and from the clunking of a bad leg walked in Mad Eye Moody. Tonks heard him stop in the doorway of the room before he walked in and sat in the arm chair next to the couch and sighed in relaxation to the comforts of the chair and his weary travels.

She sat up and looked at him with tired eyes. She bet that they were red and puffy with heavy bags underneath. Keeping up the facade during the meeting made her feel exhausted.

"Wotcher Moody, how's life treating you?" she wise cracked. She loved him because he always believed in her, unlike most others. As a trainee to become an Aurur he secretly took her under his wing and helped her to become an Auror. She owed him more than any program because he taught her everything that they didn't teach her and would never teach her.

"Everything is shit," he answered removing his bad leg and leaning it against the chair.

She always wanted to ask him about that leg and how he lost his real one but didn't do it because her mother taught her better than that and not to stare and ask millions of questions.

"That's the spirit!" she replied back sarcastically with the pump of her fist and a plastered look on her face.

"Okay, before you can try and cover yourself in any deeper you look like shit and give off the same vibe. Besides the report what else is going on?" He cut right from the point regarding how she was presenting herself, he saw right through it.

She had to close her mouth to contain the shock that he talked to her like that. He wasn't usually this straight forward and it was very different.

She looked down at her hands and said, "You obviously know so why are you asking me?" She asked it not wanting to sound so snobbish and rude, but also wanting to at the same time. He was putting her on the spot.

"I don't know everything. I was only now able to come so I missed a lot; everything actually." H looked at her, really stared at her and it made her feel like the Auror-in-training she was when she first met him.

Even though she was not looking at him she could feel his stare. She pulled at her cap some more.

"Why are you wearing a cap anyways?" he asked, disbelief in his voice like was talking to a child.

"I wear hats sometimes."

"You never wear hats, even with your hood on I can tell you have a ridiculous hair color."

She sniffed once and took off the cap. Clumpy brown locks fell down to the top of her back.

"I can't metamorph," she weakly let go, stuffing her hair back under the cap.

"It has to do with more than one topic I can see here."

Silence followed after that until she sighed and said, "Moody you know nothing ever comes easy for me and now is a worst time than ever. The job I thought that I'd always enjoy is not going that way and now I am reduced to desk duty, not being able to actually do something is going to drive me insane." She hated desk duty, it was so boring and after a while her eyes started to lose focus and sometimes she fell asleep drewling.

"You know there is no equal value in justice, especially at the Ministry, you of all people should know that considering how prejudice they are to you."

"I know but even so in the field I feel happy. I'm actually doing something and using my skills. Now instead I'm going to be sitting at a stupid desk naping like I'm taking three bloody steps back."

"Maybe you need this time to-"

"To catch up on my sleep, most likely," she shot in.

"Your sarcasm isn't helping now, you're falling apart so let it be. Fall apart and then fix yourself."

"I'm stronger than that," she jerked up shaking, giving him an ugly look, shaking her head. She wanted him to believe it.

"I know that," he said, "I just want you to believe it."

"I do," she mumbled suddenly doubting herself. She felt hopeless so she sighed and stood up. "I think I'll go in there and get something to eat, you want to join me?"

He gave a shake of his head, so she left the room and headed toward the kitchen door. Reaching for the knob the door burst open knocking her in the face causing her to stagger back and clutch her nose in pain.

"You bloody bastard," she shouted, not caring who it was behind the door, but seeing Snape she added, "Can't you make an exit without being so dramatic you hit me with the bloody door!"

"No," he answered whether to just the first or both.

She heard Moody in the living room reattaching his leg.

"Ah shit," she could smell blood dripping from her nose. She used her hand to prevent it from dripping all over her. The hand shook.

Severus Snape took his wand out and fixed it, then grabbed her wrist to keep her from storming past.

"Are you familiar with Ariva?" he asked in a loud whisper, harsh enough for only her to hear.

"Yeah why? Ow, you're hurting me!" she spit trying to break her wrist away but his grip was just too strong. She could actually start to feel her blood circulation start to stop.

"The woods, there's a dam, meet me on the top at eleven." He snapped away and pushed past her and out the door still with his dramatic exit.

She rubbed her wrist.

"You alright, Ny-Tonks?" Moody quickly caught himself. Usually he only called her that when he was mad at her or when she wasn't paying attention.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just really, really annoyed." She gritted her teeth and with a grumbling stomach she went into the kitchen where everyone was worry free for a while and just enjoying themselves.

-

-

Whether she was walking into a trap or not she went to Ariva and found just the woods he was talking about and found the dam and Snape. He was already there, standing at the top, light travel cloak up making her feel very uneasy.

No one else was around that she knew for sure but still why this place? Why couldn't it be somewhere else like headquarters or a restaurant? Or somewhere at least remotely populated where someone could hear her scream if it came down to it.

She put up her hood. If he was doing it maybe he didn't want to be seen or noticed, in that case she didn't want to be seen as well.

Also, for July the weather was lacking it's warmth and the night was feeling very chilly like an early spring night instead of summer.

She walked along the grass and up to the dam. He turned around with the same look he always carried on his face. Didn't he ever smile?

"Wotcher," she greeted. She leaned against the seven foot wall and looked back at the way she came. The wind ruffled the heavy oaks and pine trees; their branches throwing whispers in the wind.

"Come up here," he said.

She turned around and saw that he was leaning down with his hand extended to help her right up the wall.

She became nervous. She was very clumsy; even clumsier than the next guy and this was just asking for trouble.

"No, no, no, you don't want to do that. You know me, I'm clumsy, I'll fall right down." She knew it was a bad idea because she barely had balance on her own two feet on flat ground.

"You won't fall," he replied back. "Trust me."

The last time he said that he was right and it cost her not to trust him, so was this time supposed to be the same?

She reached out a hand and grabbed his hand and he hauled her up as if she was the lightest thing around, instead of the actual weight she'd never admit aloud.

She stood on her feet, relieved she made it in one shot and looked out at the low still waters on the dark, moonless night. The damn had practically dried out and the water in the lake was very low. Either the land was drying out or someone clogged the dam. Tonks didn't really know and she didn't care what the Muggles did.

"So why are we in the middle of nowhereville?" She asked the question that was plaguing her ever since he asked her.

She wasn't going to admit that it was difficult to get there and though how she knew the place, she just wondered how he knew about it.

"I think you need some fresh air, to get out and get some exercise," he said, if that was what sarcasm passed for him.

"I was hit with different spells I still don't know which, my legs feel like crap I don't want or need exercise," she shrieked. "Can you just tell me what happened? I really just want to go home, wherever that is and go to sleep." She brought her hands to her cheeks and felt that they were very warm and the bandage on one needed to be changed.

"Very well then. First let me ask you what do you remember from last night? Though I think you may have trouble what with all the alcohol you had consumed I doubt that you'd remember a thing." He said it so casual she would think that he meant every word he said. Maybe he did. Maybe that's what he had to betray to sleep well at night and that included being blunt.

She wanted to give him a gesture but reframed from getting on his level and just acted on her own. She shook her head. "I don't know, I was leaving and I was ambushed outside by my aunt and her looney bin of death eaters. I fought, I lost the end."

She knew that if he could chuckle he would chuckle or burst out laughing at her weakness. But he couldn't let lose so he didn't.

"You were down for the count when I arrived on the scene. Instead of lighting your body on fire, destroying all evidence they left you there to die and become a problem for everyone and to serve as a warning."

"I left the bar and managed to scoop you up and disappear."

"That's it?" she asked with a yawn, "If that was it you could have even written me a letter."

"There's more. The tallest of the men with brute facial hair wasn't very satisfied with what they did and in a place where they were almost caught he wanted more. So you are back on the list with Tony Sinulo."

Tonks was trying to disregard the whole thing but when he said Tony Sinulo her head jerked in his direction.

"Tony Sinulo, why is he targeted?" she asked dropping her hands from her face, she said, "He's never don-"

"He's muggle born," Snape cut in.

"Still gives them no right," she defended.

"Not the point, I know their next bout course of action." There was a hint of edge in his voice. She caught onto it.

"And you need another favor. Count me out. Even if you told me it still wouldn't help." Her eyes felt tired and she was feeling exhausted. A chilly breeze pulled her hood off.

At least she still had her cap.

"So you don't care if you should end up in a worse condition?"

She sat down on the dam and looked down at her beat up sneakers. They had seen better days, today wasn't one of them.

Nothing mattered to her anymore because Remus was gone. He was her whole world and nothing else mattered as long as he wasn't there.

She felt pain, in both senses, physical and emotional and all she wanted to do was leave so why not? Why not just get up and go?

She stood up shakily. She had to be honest with him and get it over with. He could see her state, along with everyone else so it was whatever. She said, "I'm no good right now. We can be serious another time. I can't do it right now. We can drink or something," she shrugged. "I don't know. I really need to get home and change my bandages. Unlike you, I have work tomorrow and not a long tensive vacation to enjoy though I sure can use one."

"Unquite to your opinion I am never on vacation."

"Right, right too many sides to keep in check?" she said, instead of a question she made it a statement.

She could feel her bandages and just how slimy they were and very uncomfortable. They weighed her down just a little.

"You know it," he deadpanned, "Take my hand and I'll aparate us to Grimwald and change your bandages."

"Thank you," she said sincerely, but then she broke that mood by saying sarcastically, "I don't care what everyone says about you, you're alright."

"I don't care what the front page said about you you're still an alcoholic."

"You only say that because I drink the same amount as you, you just hate me."

"Yes."

She took his hand and he apparated them to the end of the street and they walked the rest of the way.

-

-

She didn't wait for him to gather supplies and what not, instead went directly to the couch where her blanket was and covered herself from head to her back haphardously. Work in the morning would come soon enough.

-

-

Next chapter soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Something woke her. Whatever it was made her very alert. She didn't need to think twice to have her wand out and ready. She crawled off the couch and headed to the bottom of the stairwell. Whoever it was upstairs made it very obvious that they were up there ruffling around as if they were looking for something very important.

"Who's upstairs?"

Whoever was upstairs stopped their rummaging and headed towards the stairs. Tonks's heart stopped beating for a second. It was Remus. He looked so tattered and was carrying a box of things that rattled. He looked at Tonks and sighed sadly.

"Why aren't you sleeping at home?" he asked.

Tears dropped from her eyes. Her feet stayed where they were. It was like they were glued to the floor.

"Baby, are you alright?"

"You shouldn't be here. I have to leave." He headed down the stairs and before he could head away she reached out and grabbed the hem of his sleeve.

"Don't leave," she begged, "Remus."

"Tonks I'm sorry, please let me go."

She shook her head, her whole world breaking all over again.

He took his hand and somehow balancing the box and pried her fingers off.

"Baby, please let me go, no more." He walked out of the house and out of her life and all she could do was watch.

-

-

Tonks arrived to work as usual only without a word to anyone. She didn't greet anyone or wave, not even a hello. She couldn't open her mouth and her eyes felt very heavy and swollen. She walked slowly, willing herself forward. She had to get through the day at work so she could go back to her flat, her 'real home' and hideaway where no one else could break her or hurt her feelings with everything already broken.

At her desk she sat down looking at what she had to do for the day. It was a lot but maybe it would be worth it. Her mind would be distracted and she didn't have to think about anything.

Right under a stack of papers was the day's issue of the Daily Prophet and once again, 'Metamorphmangus ties to Death Eaters' graced the cover.

She scanned the article which was more bull. She hated her aunt so how was she working with her?

Tonks could not believe the lies the paper was spreading about her. Someone or someone's had it out for her. She was a target after all. Maybe soon enough she'd have a bounty on her head like in those old movies she used to watch with her dad.

The paper went into the garbage can under her desk and she started her work. Everyone had their opinion and -was going to think what they wanted. She knew the truth and knew what she stood for. They didn't like here because of what she was born as. They could hate it but they couldn't fire her because of it.

They still tried.

-

-

The day went by pretty fast and by lunch time she felt funny because every day she saw Kingsley, even just in passing but today she saw nothing of him so she went to another Senior Auror Adam Rinalington who looked so hard and said, "Have you seen Kingsley Shacklebolt today?"

"St. Mungos, transported this morning," the olive skilled muscle head said.

"What, why?" she stammered.

"I don't know, now shoo, I have so much work to do."

Tonks went back to her desk where her work was actually completed for the day and left a note dismissing her for the rest of the day and hurried out and down the hall where she ran right into Arthur Weasley. Luckily he caught her before she could make a disaster of herself.

"Why the hurry?" he asked her.

"Kingsley is in the hospital," she said a little out of breath, "I didn't know, nobody told me."

Arthur put an arm around her shoulders and leaned in. "Not too long ago he was in Nocturnal Alley with Hestia Jones because of a rumored sighting of Greyback and the Savage Ball collapsed. Hestia didn't get hurt but Kingsley was standing next to it. He's hurt but he'll pull through."

"Thanks Arthur," she said.

"Join us for dinner tonight, you and Remus?" he offered kindly.

The statement alone hung in the air and burned her insides. She didn't want it to affect her as it did. She said, "I'll see if I can, right now I have to go see Kingsley." She rushed away and out to apparate to St. Mungos and rushed in and to the receptions desk where she found out where his room was and didn't even knock when she was standing at the entrance way. She just walked right in. She saw that he was asleep comfortably so she pulled up a chair awkwardly quietly and over to his bed where she sat and took hold of his hand. He had done the same for her once when she got hurt, though Remus showed up and even though he didn't show it he didn't like him doing it when he should've been the one to do so.

He wasn't going to be doing it anymore, if she ended up in there anyways. She knew there was always the chance, trial and error.

-

-

Kingsley slept for a while with Tonks being very patient with it. She sang quietly and watched him for any sign of pain but he looked comfortable, even if he was all banged up.

"Just like a chance with a twist-"

"Anything can happen, nothing you won't miss," Kingsley voice came out. He awoke out of his quiet sleep to Tonks smiling down at him chuckling softly.

"You and your stupid songs," he rasped voice not so clear.

"Were you dreaming of me?" she asked.

"I woke up singing one of your songs, yeah you were there."

"At least now I know that you are okay," she smiled tightly.

"I'll pull through, it's fine."

"I just wish I was there today," she sighed dejectedly.

Kingsley looked down at her hand on his and wrapped his around her's securely.

"This is bull. I don't need to be sitting at a desk doing nothing. That paper is spreading lies about me, which I've made the front page again by the way. You've probably read the paper this morning about me."

He shook his head. "I haven't yet, but since I don't care to you should enlighten me." He tried to move and sit up but it looked painful. She saw the look on his face but reframed from helping him because she might hurt him even more.

He managed himself and looked comfortable again.

"Did you know that I'm in league with my favorite aunt?"

"And you didn't tell me?" he freighted sarcastically.

She sighed dramatically, smacking her forehead right onto the bed. "I guess I didn't even tell myself either. Like I said this is all bull, I just want to work in the field without someone standing over me like I was back at Hogswart or something." She sighed. "I don't know anymore."

He took his hand away from hers and gave her a pat on the head.

She felt miserable and dreadful all the same so she decided to tell him about Remus. If anything he would understand.

"Remus left me," she grumbled. She told about what happened early that morning, all said into the sheet on the bed. She dare not look at him incase tears were in her eyes. Her spirits were already broken so she expected she was going to cry often, only not in front of people.

"What? You can't be serious; he loves you and wouldn't leave you."

"He's doing something, I'm guessing nobody knows. I don't even know. He doesn't want me because he thinks I can't handle the dangers these times hold on him. He doesn't want me to worry about him and he thinks he's no good for me. He is the right man for me. He needs to realize it; he really needs to realize it."

"You know Remus, he takes the world on his shoulders and thinks he has to handle it alone and when he realizes we're all there to help him, especially you, he'll come back to you. You know he will."

She shook her head. Sitting back in her chair she wiped the tears dripping down her cheeks. She couldn't hold it in so she cried because she couldn't do anything else. She couldn't see him and couldn't talk to him.

"Don't cry Tonks, you're not supposed to cry."

She shrugged trying to make her lip stop trembling but it was no use.

"I love him," she cried, her pain of missing him crashing down, making her heart feel very heavy.

"I know," he said. He opened his arms delicately for her. She gingerly got off the chair and went over and onto the bed where he put his arms around her and she just cried into him, the one person she knew who would never put pressure on her.

-

-

She left a while after. She didn't want to be there when everyone else got out of work and came to visit one of the best things that ever entered the Ministry.

She decided to go home to her apartment in Muggle England where none of her victims she caught and fought would ever figure out. Plus, it was out of the way so when everything was driving her nuts she had her home for peace, quiet and where she could turn up her music after work at eleven at night just to piss off her neighbors because she knew that she could.

And like every one of her Muggle neighbors in the building she used the front door and took the steps to the second floor where she had a very bad feeling suddenly in the pit of her stomach. She put an arm around it and the other on the tip of her wand in her jeans.

The long narrow hall was quiet so she took caution listening to everything.

At her door, two-oh-three she put the key in and opened up. The shades were up but it was dark outside so the room was pitch dark because the moon was hidden by heavy dark storm clouds. She pressed the switch light on but it didn't go on. She tried three more times.

"Shit." She pulled out her wand, closed the door behind her and called out "lumos" filling the room with a dim light. She went into the kitchen where she stopped at the sight of unwelcomed guests; quiet guests who took up her kitchen. All the little death eaters from the Leaky Caldron were placed in her kitchen as if it was a hang-out spot.

Her home wasn't a safe, hidden haven anymore.

"Why Nymphadora my favorite relative you never told me you had such a nice place. It was pretty hard to find, especially at this hour but we did."

"Get the hell out of here or so help me," Tonks threatened very fired up. How had they found the place? Nobody knew about it, except for a few.

"You going to do something like you did so well last time?" Bellatrix laughed her cynical laugh, crackling. She stood from her chair and with a quick spell the chair was dust.

"You bloody bastard," Tonks yelled wand extended and all hell broke loose. Tonks had the upper hand because of her wards and set up charms.

Bellatrix shot a spell too many at the water fixture for her kitchen sink causing a stream of water to run down onto the floor forming pools of puddles on everything broken and everyone who was down. All that remained were Tonks and her aunt.

"Muggle neighbors, how do you think they are going to handle it when the whole building goes up in flames? Hmmm?" She cocked her head doing a slow walk around the kitchen table split in two. She looked at all the bills on the kitchen table with curiosity. She went as far as to pick one up.

"Stupify," Tonks shouted as her aunt went down for the count, in things broken and people no moving.

Tonks leaned down with a big grin on her face, moving dark, nappy hair out of her face she said, and "Next time don't touch my stuff."

She knew she was going to be evicted from the apartment; she knew that was for sure. She'd have to move into Grimmauld Place, but at least she knew that she was the one in the right.

-

-

Next chapter soon..


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for catching my mistake, this is chapter 6

Chapter 6

-

The number one thing that people hate doing the most is apologizing when they have to admit that they were wrong. Tonks's supervisor had to do just, she had to apologize to Tonks and take her off desk duty. It hurt her so much to admit defeat to Tonks but the best part was that Tonks enjoyed every single little moment of it.

The best part was that a writer for the Daily Prophet was fired. There was no disclosure for the reason but it must've had to do with the lies the paper was telling and how it was falling through the cracks.

The bad part was that her old injuries had new injuries and she did not do a good job when it came to cleaning and wrapping them up.

But she felt alright. The sun was shining so everything was okay.

"Kingsley, tell me I rule," she said to the man sitting on his desk reading his latest report. In the hospital the day before he was back to work the next day; now that took dedication.

"Tonks?" he said.

"Yeah?" she put the paper down.

"You rule," he repeated back to her, her and her own cockiness.

"Thanks," she beamed. Her arm gave off a pain. She had to apply new bandages after work and the old injuries weren't healing fast enough so everything needed to be taken care of.

Even though she didn't want to admit it she needed to ask for Snape's help, even though he was no medi-wizard. Last time when he changed the bandages it felt so good with whatever he had applied. She only really wanted him for that feeling.

"I'll see you again later for lunch. You better wait for me this time," she sarcastically tsked.

"Yeah yeah," he said shooing her. She knew that he still felt pain, but he was strong, he'd pull through. He always did, that's how he was and that was why she liked him.

She went to her desk and grabbed a piece of parchment that she had absentmindedly doodled on and with her favorite quill wrote:

S

I need your help again. Meet me where we were last time.

Your favoritest student ever

She sent the letter off to him and looked down at the paper on her desk and smiled. It was in her kitchen looking very much a mess but at least she was smiling because she had taken down six death eaters, put them behind bars and saved one of her colleges from getting staked down and killed. He didn't know it and she wanted to keep it that way. He had a family there was no use to scare him.

-

-

Later that night, after settling everything, moving all her stuff into Grimmauld place she went out to eat then came back home feeling like crap. The sun was down so there was no more brightness for the day. Everything hurt again and blood was seeping through the bandages.

Out of the rain and inside she went into the kitchen where Severus Snape sat at the kitchen table reading; well at least she thought he was looking down at the book that she left on the table.

It wasn't even in English, but maybe he knew how to speak Hungarian? She knew quite a lot from Alayna, but it was still very difficult.

She went over to him and looked down at the book and discovered that he was on page thirteen.

"I didn't know you knew how to speak Hungarian or read it?" She went over to the stove and prepared the kettle for tea.

He closed the book and set it down. He said, "I don't actually."

"Oh, uh well, how 'bout tea? Do you want some?" She asked. She wanted to get him in and out of there. Even though it wasn't her house she lived there now, as opposed to Sirius who was dead and Remus who left with the intention not to return. Nobody would care that she called it home, nobody else did. The only time people came around was for the meetings and then they were gone.

She wasn't one-hundred percent sure. Maybe some people used the place as a getaway, one to hide out on their own, for their own reasons.

"Sure, thanks." While she went about she was well aware of his eyes on her. Without looking at him she said, "Why are you staring? Is there something wrong?"

"Are you not capable of changing your own bandages?" he asked. In spite of himself to her, he sounded just as he would to put down others, because he somehow thought higher of himself.

It didn't bother her. She wanted him to do it, and for the same reason she kept telling herself again and again; to get that mixture and that nice feeling on her wounds.

And she also wanted to gloat about her little tyrant on "his" people, even if he didn't see or feel that way, no matter what he said about straddling the fence.

"I like how you do it anyways, unless you want to decline. If so I can go see Molly but then again why would you be here?" She set the cup in front of him and held hers with both hands warming her fingers. The weather outside was horrible. She was just glad that she was inside and for the most part she could now say that she was "home" and "safe."

"It's fine," he said. He sipped his tea. She put her cup down and hoped onto the table. If this was another situation back in her school days it would've been hilarious. She was glad it was so much different and in the future.

He took another sip then conjured up all the supplies and set her foot on his lap.

She looked down as he moved up her pants leg and looked at the gory mess that she cringed at. He just looked at it with a straight face, turning her leg this way and that. He moved her leg back to dangle off the table and stood up and left the room.

She looked confused at his departure but he came back with the couch throw pillow and thrusted it into her arms, her securely taking it tightly to avoid dropping it.

"What's this for?" she asked confused. It was her favorite pillow she slept with most often.

"When I tell you to, bite into the pillow and do not let go?"

"What? Why?" She was confused. Why would he want her to do that?

"Your wound has infused with the bandage from the lack of care, so when I peel it off your skin will come off with it."

At least he didn't say ripe. Her eyes still bugged.

"You will bite into the pillow because I don't want the whole bloody neighborhood to hear you scream." It sounded so cynical to her, like he was going to murder her or something.

She thought about telling him about a silencing charm but remembered that the house had a mind of its own and most spells didn't work in the house.

She was glad that she didn't say anything stupid. He would like that, which she knew for sure.

"Alright fine," she agreed. She turned her face in the opposite direction from him, her eyes nowhere near him or her leg with the gory site. She closed her eyes tightly, really tightly which she waited for the pain.

After a few seconds she cracked an eye open and looked at him. He looked amused.

"What?" she snapped, mad that he thought of this as some sort of sick amusement or game.

It wasn't.

"You look like I'm about to kill you." He tsked.

It was quiet but she heard. Was he trying to be funny?

"You know I wouldn't put it past you," she said.

He got her there.

"Now bite the pillow."

She avoided him and turned off to the side and bit into the pillow.

He turned his back to her front and leaned forward where he gripped her leg with one hand in a death grip and with the other one he ripped the bandage off like wrapping paper on a present.

He did mean it.

Pain tore through her, shooting straight through her. She couldn't pull away because of his firm grip and a blockage of his body. She couldn't even hit him because she was gripping the pillow tightly.

Her tightly closed eyes sprang tears while the pain of her leg took over whole-heartedly. She couldn't feel anything else or take in her surroundings.

Her arms shook and her teeth chattered, clamped to the pillow until the cooling sensation se it and she was finally able to control herself and release her teeth from the pillow and see the set in teeth marks that would most likely remain in it.

Tonks wiped her eyes and saw that a fresh bandage was wrapped securely.

She was able to breathe.

"That was only one foot," he broke her relief dryly.

"No." She put her face into her hands and cried, shaking her head back and forth.

-

-

It was lucky for her because the other foot and leg were not bad. Her arm was easy as well until he finally got to her cheek.

"I think I can handle this now." She said avoiding his eyes, she took both her hands and gently lowered his arm before he could set to work. She held it down.

She felt like she was going to break down and didn't want him too close to her face. She knew that if he touched her cheek shed cry for real and not from pain and he'd know it too.

"It's only one more."

"No." She shook her head still holding his arm down, only this time she dug her nails in to prevent it from moving.

He made no move to do so.

"Fine," he said.

She let go and without putting anything away he headed off.

She sighed heavily and put her face into her hands. She felt so exhausted and tired and just runned down. Her body hurt and all she wanted was to lie down and sleep but she didn't want to move.

She thought of one option; to lie right on the table and sleep right there, but it wasn't a smart choice.

She heard him return and tap her warm with something cold.

"What?" she whined.

"Here," he said. He tapped her with it again.

She moved her hands away from her face and saw that it was a glass goblet with deep red velvet liquid in it.

"What is it?" she whines, in a tired exasperation.

"Wine." He took her hand uncurling her fingers and curling them around the stem of the glass.

She sniffed it. It smelled like wine, a very delicious one at that.

"Its wine," she said regarding the glass in her hand.

"I just said that," he deadpanned, "Just drink it."

Tonks took a sip. "Thank you, I guess." She thought to herself that she could've really used it before he changed the bandages, but better late than never right?

"Mhm. You should really keep on top and change the bandages when you awake."

"Yeah, if I can find someone," she commented dryly.

He shook his head. He watched her take another sip before she set it behind herself on the table. She felt scared to stand up in case she was wobbly and felt, not only would she hurt herself but also that she would make a fool of herself in front of him.

But if she didn't get up she was going to spend the night on the table.

Snape leaned forward, both hands on the table, palms facing down he leaned in her face.

She stared back, hard.

"Let me tell you this now because I'm not going to wait too long for your shitty attitude to change. Get your act together and ease up. I'm not going to wait forever for you to return back to your normal self. Let it go."

"You know nothing, okay!"

"Everyone knows that you're in your shitty mood because of your boyfriend. You're going to drive yourself sick and not heal quickly enough. Heck, you're going to stall your morphing and just continue to look like you do now. Get over it and move on." He stood straight and took a step back.

"Thanks for once again, you know, taking my weaknesses and putting them up against me. I guess you won't be helping me tomorrow."

Snape finished making sure everything was back in place, he started for the door but stopped. He didn't turn around but said, "If you want me to do it again then just say so."

"Please." She didn't beg she was just taking him up on his offer.

"In the morning, seven-thirty I'll be back."

It was a relief for her. She didn't want to do it herself and she also didn't want to appear a fool by asking anyone else. They would probably give her the, 'She's a grown adult, why can't she do it' speech. Snape already did that to her but it didn't bother her as much anymore.

"In other words I owe you big time," she said with relief that everything tough was over. She picked up her drink and drained the rest.

"Big time." Once again it was said very plain and dry. He pulled the rubber band from his hair and once again stepped up to her.

"You ready?" he asked.

She arched her eyebrow not knowing what he was getting at.

"I will bring you to the couch."

How did he know that, she wondered, but wasn't going to ask. If he wanted to offer than fine, she was going to take him up on it.

He crouched down to get a grip of her legs and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her with ease and carried her into the living room setting her down on the couch.

"I'm leaving," he said.

"One more thing," she said sitting up.

He came back over and knelt down. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders into a hug.

"Thank you." She let go and covered herself with the blanket facing the back of the couch and getting comfortable.

He stood there a few moments then left without a word.

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More to come. Review and tell me what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When Snape was gone she rolled over to hang her cheek and arm off the couch. She didn't know why she gave him a hug. It could've been for appreciation but he didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart; well because he didn't have a heart, but because she owed him in return. Everything always came with a price, sometimes that price was dire.

She thought of her cousin Sirius Black and everything he had to deal with.

Thinking of him brought her to Remus. He wasn't even dead but it sure felt like it. She missed him so much. He was like her support beam; there to listen when she bitched about work, a shoulder to cry on when she could couldn't get the revenge she wanted and he was there always with curiosity to what she was singing, what book she was reading and why she took him to the places she took him to.

And she was there for him; on his bad days, even when he rejected her she was there for him, from his nights of the full moon to other moments as well.

She remembered him asleep in bed after coming home from a late shift and him so messed up in bed. He was smitten with fever and having nightmares. She took her first aid kit and cleaned every surface would and wiped his face of sweat. She fed him medicine, covered him and slept very close to him the rest of the night.

Having to leave early the next morning he told her that when he work up that he felt very good, not like those other kinds of nights when he used to be alone. She felt so happy when he said that.

Tonks started to cry again. Tears ran down her cheeks and onto the couch cushions. They soaked the dirty bandage that she wasn't going to change. It hurt so much with him gone. She needed him, she wanted him to be there but instead he was gone. He left because he thought without her he'd be better but he was wrong.

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Awaking it was still dark out. She shoved the blanket off of herself and sat up roughly. She knew that she dreamed of him, but not so quickly.

In the dream he wanted to stay but didn't want her to. He wanted her to leave and to never come back.

She didn't know if she ever stopped crying. She threw the pillow onto the ground. She wanted to do something, she wanted to break something, trash something. She wanted to hit someone, to hit something but just couldn't bring herself to do so.

She shoved her face into the couch cushion and blubbered as loud as she could, disregarding what Snape said about disturbing the whole neighborhood. It wasn't like they could hear her anyways.

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She didn't know if she got any sleep that night she just knew that her eyes opened at exactly seven-thirty and Snape was sitting opposite her in the old arm chair. He looked at her look back at him.

"Was I sleeping?" she asked. Her eyes were a mess with crust and tears.

"How do you not know whether or not you were asleep?" he asked, pleasant mood as always.

She sat up planting her feet onto the ground. She pulled her sweaty hair back behind her shoulders feeling a jolt of pain rush through her bad leg.

She didn't say anything about it. She wasn't also going to tell him the truth about her long night. He didn't need to know. She would lie.

"Because I had too many nightmares, my reality blurred." She shrugged. She had an hour and some change before work, but she didn't feel like going to work at all. She felt sick and injured and helpless and worthless.

"That's the price of ridding of demons," he answered her. "Why do you have a fever?"

"I don't," she replied. She felt her cheeks; they were a little warm but not so much.

"You do." He stood up and went over, removing her hands from her cheeks and putting his there.

"You have a fever. I guess you haven't had the nightmare to break it."

"I don't want that," she said with the shake of her head feeling his cold hands against her skin.

"It will happen whether you want it to or not," he answered. He took one hand and put it on her forehead, the other one wiped sweat from her face.

She didn't know why, she just let him do it. He was changing her bandages, so why not take care of her? That's what she needed, someone to take care of her.

She closed her eyes.

"Let's go into the kitchen." He said breaking her trance of relaxation. He walked away with the swing of the door.

She opened her eyes and put pressure on her legs only to fall back onto the sofa wincing in pain. Something was definitely wrong with her leg. Every time she put pressure on it sent jolts through her leg and up her spine causing her to take all the pressure off of it completely.

"Severus," she called. She could feel her heart beat throb in her leg. It hurt.

He came back into the room.

"I can't walk on my leg, I can't even stand up. What's wrong with it?"

Snape went over and knelt down and lifted her leg up. She watched him unwrap her leg slowly. She winced at how much it hurt for the bandage to come off until the ending strip was once again sticking to the wound.

He wasted no time this time with the whole, 'bite-into-the-pillow' and just ripped it off like a bandage sending stars across her vision. She howled in pain, holding, no, digging her nails into the couch cushions.

"I must apologize to you Nymphadora but I can no longer help you with this problem. Tell me something, how does your right arm feel?"

"Sore, like I was fighting, why?"

"Who can you get to take you to St. Mungos?"

"What? What's wrong with me? Severus! What's wrong, what is the problem?" She was scared, actually frantic.

"Nothing I can control, unfortunately. Who can I contact for you?"

She started feeling very light-headed. She shook her head trying to rid of the feeling but it was taking over.

"Kingsley."

She passed out, lucky that she was still on the couch and not the table where she would've fallen off.

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More soon. Drop me sum' love.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

She didn't awake to full consciousness but she knew that she was in St. Mungo's. She could hear happenings going on all around her. She was lying on her stomach on a flat bed with her arm stretched ahead of herself in someone's grasp which she knew was Kingsley's. She'd recognize his grip anywhere on the account of him doing it so many times.

But to be sure she gave a light squeeze and put his other hand over his and her's and held protectively. She knew she'd pull through because Kingsley was there.

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She woke up sometime later lying on her back with the bed propped up with no one holding her hand, but there was definitely more than one person in the room. Their presence was noted. She freighted sleep because she couldn't deal with the million questions so it was her escape route.

"I don't think she will awake anytime soon Severus. I have to leave; all the kids must be driving Arthur crazy. I'm so sorry Dumbledore couldn't come."

Molly she identified.

"Thank you Molly, I'll send him your regards."

Severus Snape.

When the matronly woman left Tonks finally opened her eyes. Snape was sitting in the chair he pulled from the far wall up to her bed very calm and very patient.

"Is there a reason why Dumbledore has to come see me? Am I that much screwed?" She didn't try to move at first. Her leg was wrapped as well as her right arm and her cheek. Looking down at herself she realized that she was only wearing the hospital gown that left nothing to the imagination and there was no blanket.

"Where is my blanket?" she asked.

"They took it so you wouldn't overheat."

"It's not hot and I am cold so can you get me one please. I hate being exposed."

Snape got up and went into the cupboard and pulled two out. At her bed he ruffled them out in the air and put them on her.

"Thank you," she said earnestly.

He gave a nod before he sat back down.

In the silence she tested her fingers. When she found that they were fine she looked at him accusingly and said quietly, "You didn't answer my question from before, Albus Dumbledore couldn't come, why?"

"I lied."

She clenched her left fist a few times, it was fine. Everything was fine, everything except what was bandaged and her pride.

"Then why did you say it? What are you covering for?"

"For me to be here," he said like casual conversation and nothing serious, "surely you know my reputation. Someone like myself, to be here visiting you, surely someone would be suspicious considering who we are."

"I guess. Either way, the gesture is nice, except you're not like the others who hold my hand," she gave a half smile and added, "Unless you want to?"

"No."

"Whatever," she replied back not knowing why she felt insulted. She knew she shouldn't be but then again she knew that he was a different person than her friends were.

Her leg stung and a suspicious headache crept into her right eye region which made her ills and tiredness creep right back to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She gave a shake of her head and said, "Enough about my problems now, what is wrong with me?"

"Let me ask you something first. When you enjoyed your little triumph at your place, you cleaned up I'm guessing?"

"No." she pulled the blanket around herself tightly feeling overwhelmed with fatigue. She yawned a loud wide mouth yawn and said, "The landlord didn't care that some people ransacked my place and try to kill me." She shrugged at his raised brow, "So I didn't do a thing. I left it complete mess, water spilling to the next floor below me I grabbed things that I needed and left. I was backed up on my rent anyways, so if they think they can sell my things to pay it off they won't find anything good."

He snuffed at her, "As much as your personal life could possibly amuse me I don't want to know anymore. Did you cut yourself on anything, anything your aunt touched?" he asked.

She had to think about it. She closed her eyes. She remembered her aunt muttering spells, breaking things for her amusement and be-spelling them. She had had a grand ball.

"I stepped on a piece of glass, a broken vase, but what does that have to do with-" then it clicked in, "Oh that witch, that bitch," she huffed.

Bellatrix was the whole reason; her and her whole gang of death eaters.

"Her favorite charm, as I recall is Icious, the reason why your wounds aren't healing. They know that you're an easy target. The first time was to set the trap, the second time you fell right back in and the trap snapped. You're lucky they could help you here, lucky that with time you'll be fine.

"Yeah thanks," she murmured turning in the opposite direction from him. She yawned again and said, "My morphing doesn't work, is that the reason why?" She asked, "if that was the only problem then everything is going to be smooth sailing from here on out?" Her leg gave a small jolt causing it to jerk slightly.

"That is simply your problem. You know how they say you can tell about someone by the expression on their face, well I don't have to do that for you. I simply have to look at your hair to know what's wrong with you. You have depression skirted right across your forehead. The reason why you can't morph is because of your self attitude. You will take a long self process unless you get rid of all the pity and self doubt you know that you don't need to keep."

"Same petty speech from before. I'm trying to enlighten and now that all the drama and bullshit is over I think I will be fine and even though I know you don't care or worry, you don't have to worry anymore." She was proud of herself. She could give pep talked and speeches just like him, but her's were lighter hearted.

"Not so easily," he said, "one simple phrase will bring you all the way back to square one."

She closed her eyes and said, "Oh yeah, is that so? What is that?"

"Remus Lupin was here."

She was lucky that she was facing the wall because her eyes bugged out wide. He was there? She couldn't remember or even feel him there.

"Yeah, is that so?" she managed sounding put off. She willed herself to act the opposite of how she was actually feeling.

"Yes," he deadpanned, "Flowers are from him."

That threw her over, that didn't help the matter at all.

She put the pillow around her head blocking her ears, crushing her head. She didn't want to hear anything more. If she heard more she knew she wasn't going to heal quicker; if she had to know about an encounter with him that she didn't notice or feel.

"Stay with me," she heard. She didn't hear anything else but she did hear that, it stuck out like a sore thumb in her mind's eye.

"What?" she asked.

"Simple. You go back to that place and you will think about all the bullshit and mope around and stall the process. I know how very distracted you can get so easily. I can't have that. I need certain things from you and will not have them drawn out for far too long."

"Fine, I don't care," she replied with quick words resuming with the pillow around her head. She hated the fact that she felt grateful to someone like him, someone who never gave reason to in the past.

"Then let me not delay you from getting rest."

"Just stay," she said before the words could register in her head. When they did she finished with, "until I fall asleep , that's all. I'm really tired now and will fall asleep fast."

"I wasn't going anywhere," he answered and she realized that when he said she needed rest he had made no move to go.

She realized that she wasn't hard to read and that what he had planned for her when she was well was going to be something totally against her moral values.

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More soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The only person who knew where she was going to be was Severus. To everyone else they knew only that she took a very short holiday and was going away. She didn't tell anyone where but she wrote Kingsley and told him not to worry, that she was fine and would be back to work next Monday and would miss him until then. And, she also wrote that she was going to try and not get into any trouble, well any that she could control anyways.

She took a few things in a bag and he aparated them there. She felt the ill effects of being injured and the full effects of being sick; the transport them just made everything worst.

The medi-wizard told her that she was going to feel like that for a while and all she needed to do was get plenty of rest and she'd be fine, no potions or anything else was required.

She wished she had something to take, even those nasty tablets her father used to make her chew when she was sick when she was little. They were nasty but they helped very much.

"Home sweet home," he said dully, "Your room is up the stairs, the last door down the hall on the left."

"Thanks?" she said unsure. She pulled the hood of her hoody down and pulled her hair out and down; still the nasty mess of grey-black dull frizz.

She looked around. "Who died?" she asked. Everything was so dull and dark, from all the windows covered up tight to how the lights felt like dusk, dark and dim and the air was cold and tight. There were many bookshelves but she was afraid to grab a book because they all looked so old and might crumble to dust in her fingers.

"Hilarious," he deadpanned, "I don't care what you do as long as you," he stared directly at her and said each word specifically, "Don't break anything that belongs to me."

She crunched her nose and sneered.

"I have lots to do and will be back soon," and just like that he was gone.

"O…k," she trailed. She put her hood back up and put her bag on one end of the couch and curled up on the other end taking her arms out of the hoody's sleeves and putting her hands between her tights to keep them warm. The place felt cold in both senses and she was just too cold, tired and ill to get up and start a fire in the fire place.

For summer it was just too miserable.

She turned around and curled into the back of the couch. She was happy to know that the furniture didn't stink and the couch was actually pretty comfortable.

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep in the overly quiet, peaceful, dark dim house. No one else was there, or at least she hoped not.

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From a hazy sleep she awoke slowly, listening to the fire crackle and the turn of a page. So Snape was home and he was reading.

As she listened closer she heard the clink of a glass and a fizzing. She sat up and set her hoody fell off the couch.

Hoody aside? She opened her eyes and saw that it lay in a crumpled pile. She didn't remember taking it off, or it being so warm.

Oh right, the fire was going. She watched it for a second then she looked at him. He was sitting on the floor, everything sprawled out around him, a book on the floor and he was making a potion with his sleeves rolled up exposing muscular arms and his hair was once again pulled back and off his face. All in all he didn't look half bad when he wasn't looking angry or being a complete asshole and sticking his nose up at everyone.

"Your sleep talking is really irritating; I really don't need to know the many aspects of your life."

If a record could stop it surely would. She jerked her attention right onto him ready to go in his face but realized that she couldn't feel her left leg.

"I can't feel my leg," she panicked. She tried to stand but couldn't find any balance.

"I changed your bandage and spelled it. In your sleep you were in so much pain so out of place that I," he eyed her, "worked my magic."

She looked unsure but hated the heavy weight, eerie feeling of her leg so she lifted it onto the couch and shifted the pillow so she could lay down flat and look up at the ceiling. She put her hoody over her face.

"What is wrong with me?" she whined. She didn't feel like crying she just felt a pity party; angry at herself because she felt like she was going downhill fast.

"Nothing is wrong with you; if you believe in luck then you're just in a 'bout of it.'" He said it but by the tone of his voice he wasn't really into what he was saying because he was concentrating on whatever he was making. She didn't want to know what he was making.

"You believe in luck?" she asked. She wanted to be annoying, she wanted to break his concentration because he was a real hard shell to crack and he did invite her to stay. She knew it wasn't courtesy on his behalf but he didn't even make her feel welcomed.

It was silent for another moment; she moved the garment off her face to breathe and dropped it on the floor.

"It doesn't matter what I believe in, I make my own decisions and do what I please," he answered turning the page and ran his finger down some text.

"So why do you make the wrong decisions?" she asked. She felt she didn't have to hold back since no one was around she could speak freely, that they could speak freely. Nothing was going to leave the house. She would speak to him and even open up if he opened up. She wanted to see a side of him that she hadn't seen before.

Or anyone else for the matter, she doubted it would happen.

"Who's to say that I make the wrong decisions? Maybe you are?" he challenged back flipping through a few pages.

"I'm on the right side, the good side. You on the other hand are straddling the fence; I don't know what to believe about you."

"I helped you, didn't I?"

She looked at him sideways from her laying position and saw him looking right back at her, with a face determined to contradict the next thing she was going to say.

"You know you didn't do that out of the goodness of your cold, dark black heart. I have to pay you back for this."

"I still helped you, didn't I?

She wanted to retort that he said the same thing but knew it wouldn't help.

"But if I was someone else would you have done the same? What about Alayna?" she hung her head off the cushion, blood rushing to her head. She watched him still only now upside down.

He thought about it for a moment weighing the options in his head, he said, "Let me ask you something, why were you in the Three Broomsticks with her that night?"

"I know it hasn't been that long since I've left Hogwarts but like you've made clear that night you know she is my best friend and still is."

"Not anymore."

"Why do you say that?" she questioned. She didn't know why he said that. She knew that they were best friends. They had lost touch for a while but catching up that night made her see that they were still best friends and had so much to catch up on.

"Do you want the honest truth or do you want to stay in denial and be naïve to what your friend really is?"

She pulled her head back onto the cushion and closed her eyes. Why shouldn't she expect it? Everything turned wrong then dulled, so why not this? Why not have her best friend be someone, which made it a something that went horribly wrong? Why not?

"Just tell me," she said. She put the hoody back over her face. In case she was to cry she didn't want him to see, though he would know.

"She's not like you. In the way you went into the bar that night, she didn't have the same thing in mind. She was a small part of your demise."

"Why are you telling me all this!" she jerked up to attention. The hoody fell to the floor again only this time there was no intention for it to be picked up.

"You asked me." His calm demeanor never faltered to her angry, pissed off one.

"You know what I mean," she shouted at his calmness that never left him. It made her even more aggravated, she snapped, "You are telling me everything I need to know, everything I need to hear. You never do this and all of a sudden you start. I'm not your student anymore so I want to know the truth out wise I'm walking out of this house. Why are you telling me?"

He gave her a knowing look.

"I'll find some way, even if I'm crawling on my hands and knees."

"You know where the door is," he said so casually it was as if it was casual conversation for him. He turned to his work like nothing was out of the ordinary. He worked so smoothly, no wonder why he was a teacher and manipulator. He held a hidden grace; hidden very deep but it was there. It was the reason why he was playing both sides- he could decide if he ever wanted to; which side he wanted to be on, which she hoped was their side.

"So you knew all along?" she asked.

"Yes," he responded not even looking up.

"Maybe you should be an Auror. You could teach us all a lesson or two."

"No," he responded back not even getting the joke.

She rolled her eyes. "So. What are you doing?" she asked.

"Knitting," he responded, keeping his attention the book and flipping a few pages.

"Ha ha, you're hilarious," she answered sarcastically.

"You asked me a dumb question; you're going to get a dumb answer." He poured something into the small caldron, gave a small stir and closed the book.

"You know what I mean; you're always finding ways to piss me off." She laid down and stuffed her face into the crook of the couch.

"You do that all by yourself," he said.

"I can't hear you because I choose not to," she called feeling for her hoody and putting it over her head.

"Just like class all over again."

She wanted to laugh but that would give him the upper hand and he would win the battle. She didn't want him to think that. She just ignored it and listened to him go about and clean up his mess and what not. He was a very quiet person and she fell asleep just listening to him.

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She woke up later to heavy rain crashing against the house. A heavy storm was brewing outside and it was dark. She wondered what time it was and how long she had been sleeping because it was light out before.

She could feel her leg which felt like lead and tiny needles poking through it. But when she swung her legs off and onto the floor she was able to stand up and feel it….only to fall back down and hit her knee on the coffee table sprawling out on the floor. She let out a string of curses so vile that her mother would've slapped her twice on each cheek.

Another bruise would appear, but at least it wasn't her left leg. It still hurt though.

Tonks got up feeling complete pain by now but she managed to stand up and see that there was a goblet and a note on the table. She took the note and saw his very proper script. It said:

Just drink it. Don't spill it on the floor.

She looked at the goblet then the not again. What would happen if she dropped it on the floor, she pondered to herself, would it burn right through?

She put the note back down and went over to one of the windows and opened a shade. Fighting off dust she peered out into the night only to see that it was dark and heavy rain obstructed the view of anything else,. She hadn't been out because he aparated right inside, in the living room.

She closed the blind and went back over to the couch and laid back down. She grabbed the goblet and lifted her head to drink from it. She drank with the logic that if he wanted her dead he would've done it by now.

The liquid was like nothing she ever felt before and it spread through her with warmth that made her very tired. She curled up feeling the warmth take over numbing her, taking control of her whole body. As unconsciousness took over she could only think that he in fact had poisoned her.

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More soon. Drop me a review.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Tonks awoke to a crash which startled her out of her sleep and into position with her wand ready, only to see that the coffee table was broken right through the middle with Snape standing there. Snape had something in a sack which must've been heavy and he was heavily keeping the weight off of one of his legs.

"Wotcher Severus, what happened?" she asked trying to wake her eyes up completely now that the adrenaline was gone.

"None of your concern," he snapped, "Why are you awake?"

It was the same him, even when injured and needing help he was the cruel man who rejected what was offered never letting anyone see the true him.

"You know, I was going to offer to help clean your wounds but I changed my mind." She told him sharply not showing any concern for him anymore.

He swabbed at his lip and looked down to see blood on his fingers.

"I wouldn't let you near me even if you were a medi-witch."

"Go kick a rock." She didn't know why she said it and felt like such a fool for using a comment she would have used when she was still at Hogswart.

"Why, so you can trip over it?" he said back without hesitation.

"You have a wise crack for everything I say, huh?"

"You make it so easy."

"Whatever." She put her wand away, wanting nothing more than to use it on him. "Bleed to death all over the floor for all I care." She grabbed her back off the floor and headed towards the stairs.

"Some of us know how to actually take care of ourselves."

She wanted to retort to give him a rude gesture but reframed from doing so. IT wasn't worth it, and he was in a state that it would be pathetic to even do so.

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The next morning Tonks woke up to the sunshine desperately trying to seep through the closed up tight windows. Why was he so secretative? Looking around he didn't have anything valuable that would be worth taking. Everything was weird.

But then again it was all the things he did; maybe he just didn't want people to know his business. All the things he did, if she was him she'd hide too.

Then again she has liked her home in Muggle territory, maybe he just liked his home too. It was one way to feel safe.

"Home, sweet, sweet home," she sang aloud to herself and stretched her arms, up and over her head. It felt good and she felt very decent.

I better not count my chickens before I squash them, she thought miserably. She changed her clothes and pulled her hair back.

Maybe today was a better day, maybe today she was better, maybe she'd be able to morph. She closed her eyes and willed herself to change her hair back to purple, but all she got was pain rushing through her which threw her right back onto the bed. She covered her head with her arms arched back trying to ease the pain rushing through her.

Why did it hurt so much? Why wasn't it getting better?

Remus, I wish you wouldn't have done it, she thought, I need you so much right now. I need you. Why aren't you here with me? Why did you go away? Why did you say the things that you didn't mean? Why Remus?

Remus.

She closed her eyes tight as a wave of pain pushed through her and screamed. Not long after she passed out.

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She awoke to the smell of eggs and toast which made her stomach grumble. She was still in bed but must've figured that he heard her scream or had made her breakfast out of the goodness of his heart; whatever was there because there was surely wasn't a heart there.

She ate the breakfast, ate it all and went downstairs quietly to see Snape lying asleep on the couch. She stopped halfway down the steps, leaned on the rail with her elbows and watched him.

Like a child curious about a teacher she didn't think he first of all has a home nor did he sleep so just seeing him there on the couch proved that her false accusation was something like that providing that there was no curiosity.

He lay on his side, cheek pushed into the arm of the couch with his mouth closed and his eyes closed; not like those people who have an eye cracked open, or their mouths hanging open.

He looked peaceful and he had pajamas on. She was shocked about that, but just smiled. Something had to make her day and that just did it.

Tonks headed down the steps and stubbed her toe on the turn of the rail and held in the curse as she made her way over to the armchair and sat down just wanting to go to sleep again.

"How the hell can I be so tired?" she said a loud, "I must be a cat now." She lay against the back of the chair sideways so that her legs were hanging off, except that her bad leg had more support on the arm. The bandage needed to be changed again but she found that she couldn't wake him. He did so much for her already; she hated to ask for more.

"I'll just nap again," she whispered, "Probably will do that the whole time I'm here if he keeps making those," she let out a yawn, "potions."

She curled up as best as she could on the chair without bothering her cheek or leg and fell into a comfortable stupor.

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Dream:

_Tonks was walking along the street when she heard a howl and saw a shadowed figure block her view. The howl cried again but the shadow wouldn't move and wouldn't let her go. It pushed her down and held her there as tight as it could_ which she could still feel when her eyes popped open.

End dream.

She felt the tight grip like it was still holding her down disappear and she moved her arms and legs to come into a sitting position. She looked over to where Snape was and saw that he was sitting up with his head in his hands.

"You okay?" she asked.

He sat up, "Not the best part to wake up with you screaming or struggling."

"Even then you're not looking like a ray of sunshine. Your eyes are dry and a blood vessel popped in your right one. And did you sleep down here? Why would you sleep on the couch when you have a bed upstairs?"

"Why are you curled up on the chair when there is a room set up for you upstairs? You can scream up there again."

"Too much pain," she said, then smiled feeling sweat drip down from her hair, she said, "Maybe I was lonely upstairs or I wanted to make sure you were okay or maybe I wanted to thank you for breakfast at," she scanned the room for a clock and saw an old grandfather clock that read six thirty-nine.

"Why so early?" she asked, "What human being gets up this early when they don't have to go to work?"

"Your excuating pain and that you haven't eaten at all since yesterday."

"Thank you." She pulled the words out from deep within her positivity. It was a very nice gesture from someone like him.

She messed with the lever of the chair which wouldn't budge and gave a crack and she flew back. She pulled but it it wouldn't go back all the way and only remained halfway up. She sat forward and looked at him from under her eyelashes as if she was in trouble.

"Why don't you just break it while you're at it," he said like usual, sarcastic and underlying.

"I was only trying to move it back, to recline."

"Like that caldron that caught fire, that portrait in the hall on the fourth floor, Lilliana Sulvero's robe, everything is just an accident with you."

"Hmph," she huffed, then mumbled, "People are only supposed to remember the good things about people and besides I did that on purpose and made it look like an accident."

"Mm," he stood up.

"Wait, I have to ask you something," she said.

"What?" he asked. He perched himself on the arm of the couch close to her, She sat up straight and said, "what was that concoction that you gave me?"

"My own secret," he said and went off, up the stiar and out of sight leaving her to keep up with the fact that he might be in fact be poisoning her after all.

Whatever it was it made her feel numb and very very nauseous. She curled up in on herself as she heard the shower start up.

She suddenly sat up with her face between her legs but ti didn't work. Vomit rushed through her and she rushed out of the room but tripped on the divider doorway and fell into a heap on the floor and threw up right there all over the floor.

Her breathing became harsh and she threw up the rest of breakfast and with nothing else to throw up she laid down on the floor trying to control her breathing, ignoring the bad taste in her mouth. She felt wiped out and couldn't even move if she tried. She heard the water turn off but she didn't hear anything else because fatigue took over and she knocked out right on the floor.

-

-

She woke to Snape standing over her and knew that she had only dozed for a short time. She sat up hanging her elbows off her kneews and her head hanging down. She said, "I'm always finding ways to keep you on your toes, maybe tomorrow I'll make my own breakfast."

"I won't have a home anymore by the end of the week." He knelt down to look at her.

"What?" she asked. She laid back down with a pounding headache finding comfort in the cold floor tiles against her cheek.

"When are you going to get off the floor?" he asked.

"When I gather enough energy to clean up the mess I made."

"Just-"

"Put me out of my misery, just forget about everything else and put me down now. That way you don't have to worry about me."

"You're not a dog," he said.

She would've laughed if it wasn't under this circumstance, but it was so she couldn't. Plus he didn't take it as a joke so laughing would just make everything more the awkward.

"I know so if you will, I will clean up and disappear out of your sight."

She laid there still trying to find the energy but it just wasn't coming to her.

"Are you going to move?" he asked. He still stood there knelt on the ground looking down at her.

"No," she cried, tears running down her face. She felt cold shivers, her head throbbed and her body felt sore with pain, especially in her leg.

She blamed everything on her aunt and her dark magic. That one stupid spell caused so many problems in her life as well as the rest of her death eaters. Because of them her life spiraled out of control and she was reduced to a pile of gunk on Snape's kitchen floor. If anyone was to ever know she didn't know how she'd handle it or him for that matter.

"You can now see just how weak I am. I guess whatever you thought before; you can now see it for yourself." She cried. Her eyes started to sting so she closed them and the tears continued to fall. They made her eyes sting even more.

How she wished she was a dog that he could put down.

He chuckled which made her blood boil. She hated being weak in his eyes and having admitted so. She knew that he didn't like her at Hogswart and now she didn't know what. She needed to just get through this and get back to her normal life.

She felt herself being hoisted off the floor and she put her arms around his neck. She didn't want to be dropped and knew that with her luck she could possibly fall. But at least she knew one thing that she wasn't heavy because he carried her before without a grunt or complain.

He carried her upstairs and she felt herself being laid down in bed and the blanket be pulled up to her shoulders. He took a seat at the end of the bed.

"I am going to get Bellatrix Lestrange and make her pay for everything she has put me through. Even in Azkaban she will get what is coming to her. This is not the last she has had to deal with me. I don't care if she is family.

"Now you see who has the dark side?" He pointed out eh flaw that she accused of him not too long ago.

"I don't care," she spit, "I can't take this anymore."

"Don't blame others for some faults you are having of your own," he contradicted matter-of-factly.

He always had something to say.

"Shut up," she mumbled turning over.

He stood up and left the room closing the door with a soft click.

She hated everyone at the moment. While everyone was getting on with their lives and work, enjoying the horrible weathered summer she was stuck under the mercy of Severus Snape. She didn't like the guy then, she didn't like him when she was first conducted into the Order of the Phoenix and she didn't like him last month. She didn't like him now, and even though they had a deal and he was pulling out on his behalf she hated that even with her hate toward the man she had a curiosity about him that made her see that there was more than met the eye.

She turned over again facing the door and tried to find a comfortable position that wouldn't put any weight or discomfort on her bad foot. She ended up lying on her stomach, her leg bent out to the side half way hanging off the bed where she found the least bit of comfort and managed to relax. She knew the medi-witches said it wouldn't be easy, they just said it would heal up and pass. But how long and what was going to be the turning point before she healed completely?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Tonks awoke to the sun in the middle of the sky shining brightly which meant that it has to be about noon or after. Her leg was asleep which didn't feel good at all considering the pins and needles effect went along with the throb. The bandage looked a little dirty. She sat up with her leg flat out and unraveled the bandage a little and saw that the wound was still there and still nasty.

Why wouldn't it be?

"It's never going to heal," she concluded aloud to herself. She wrapped the small piece back and stuffed it under.

Her stomach growled. She pouted her lips wondering if she would have the blame episode as earlier today or not.

Maybe something light would be easy on her stomach? She thought of crackers or toast but both didn't seem as appetizing as something decent like a meal like chicken, rice and potatoes.

Or something Mrs. Weasley would cook. One of her meals would make Tonks content and very, very happy.

At that thought her stomach growled an approval and she fell back on the bed sighing defiantly onto something hard. She pulled it out from under her and held the open book above her face and saw the title on the page, _Icious._

But everything after that, the words published were so small and there was so much of Snape's small illegible writing it made everything look like squiggles and lines of an attempt at drawing.

She put the book over her face and stretched her arms over her head deciding what to do. She didn't know if Snape was home or not and didn't want to do heavy artillery; walking and breathing to make her feel like shit all over again. But she had to get up and move around; keep the blood flowing and maybe even feel better.

She rolled out of bed once her leg woke up and used a finger to hold the place of the part that it was opened to and wrapped a blanket around her. She left the room slowly, trudging in bare feet down the stairs until she saw Snape using a kitchen chair to get some books. He was flipping through one, really into it so she went in quietly and set the book onto the coffee table and laid on the couch curled on bend legs and her arms stuffed under her with the blanket around her whole body and head. The house gave off a chill even though it was summer.

The chill had to do with everything closed up so tight. At least the window in the bedroom was cracked open and the shade was pulled up. Maybe he was starting to realize that she needed sunshine and nobody was going to get him.

Paranoid.

"Did you read it?" he asked. He took the book and two more down and stepped off the chair.

"I could never read your comments on my essays I can't read them now. With your writing and the small script of the book it all looks like a jumbled mess to me. Can you read it to me?"

"Why?" he asked. He made busy with what he had to do. He always knew what he had to do.

"Because my eyes are tired and my head is foggy. I want to know what it says," she answered making no point to move. The walk down the steps was enough.

"Can you?" she asked.

He didn't respond so she said, "Just pretend we're back in class and you're trying to teach me."

"All you need is candy and bright, bright hair distracting the student behind you who is trying to focus." He sat himself down on the coffee table.

She felt like a kid because she felt like she was always getting her own way all the time when she wanted something subtle, or even if she didn't want it or ask for it he did something for her. Maybe he cared.

Not really.

He took the book off the table and looked down at it. She didn't have to look to see as she had lay down and made herself comfortable.

He read the part to her; the whole page actually and she listened, unlike all those times in his classroom.

"Why am I not surprised," she commented, "I mean she is powerful, I'll give her that, but crafty? I didn't think so."

"You give her more credit than you really should." He unwrinkled the page she accidentally laid on.

"Why?" she questioned incredulously. She opened her eyes to see him looking down at her.

"She is locked up after all so don't be so doubtful of your power."

Was that a compliment? She wasn't so sure because it was very rare, if at all. And though she agreed with him she couldn't just take the compliment from him. It would be great but she needed something to break that down, to see if there was more or if it was one of those rare sights.

"As you can see I got the short end of the straw," she indicated herself.

"As you haven't grasped yet, you will heal, she will rot."

Something about how he said it made her sit up and take notice. She kept watching him and he just remained as neutral as always except for the tiny glint in his eyes.

He knew that she had caught it otherwise it would have just rolled off of her and she would not have sat up.

She gave a twitch of puckered lips to indicate that she wasn't stupid and besides it was his business anyways; his dark, hard, probably painful past anyways.

He cleared his throat, "Like I said don't sell yourself short."

"Thanks, I think, I'll keep that in mind next time I'm throwing up on your floor," she commended with a smile of her own.

"There is the sink, toilet or even the tub."

"Where there is not enough time it goes _everywhere_," she emphasized knowingly from past experiences.

"I know," he bid, "I had to clean up _everything,"_ he mimicked her.

Okay, so what if he had to clean me, she thought now realizing that he wasn't just standing there when she came around. He must've cleaned her up before she woke up.

She locked eyes with him and he did the same until she laid right back down and covered herself completely.

"Surely you won't give up that easily?" he said, superiority clear in him.

"I don't feel well again," she answered honestly, It was the truth she felt very cold.

"Go back to sleep," he said.

"But I'm not tired," she answered in her cocoon.

"So close your eye," he stood up and went back to his work, "Pretend you're not here. I'm trying to."

"You know you like me here," she wiggled into a more comfortable position, "I bring life to this place."

"As in with your socks and hair I can turn off the light and still find my way without tripping over anything," he retorted on the other side of the room.

"Exactly," she agreed with a yawn she faced the inwards of the couch, "I still want to know who died."

"You in another minute if you keep asking that."

"I have friends who would look for me every which way they would go until I was found."

"If they knew where to look first."

"You just know how to make me feel safe with eyes closed-"

"And two hands tied," he finished.

She fell asleep in their silence. She didn't know if what he said was made up to scare her, make him look tough or be the truth. He didn't hurt her yet but the week was still young and she was so very weakened by illness and pain from a charm used to manipulate an injury on her body and soul.

She just hoped that she was safe and that he cared. If it was pretend so far she hoped he'd continue to have a heart, or whatever was there. She had to remember that he didn't have a heart; someone with a dark mark didn't have a heart.

Not one of them.

-

-

From that same nightmare she awoke sweating sprawled out in bed.

"Of course he carried me and I didn't wake up," she said a loud again in frustration. She was beginning to talk a loud to herself and wondered if he did the same. In a house like this with no one around the only company was yourself.

She didn't feel him life her or even change the bandage. She didn't need the one on her face anymore.

Her resolve was gone; she was losing the survival instinct. She couldn't tell when he was taken care of her. She felt so weak.

Tonks pulled the blanket around herself for the millionth time in the short amount of time that she was there and went downstairs. She heard him in the kitchen and went there and took a seat across from him crossing her legs on the chair and putting the blanket around her head. She clasped her hands in her lap.

Snape looked up from his food.

"How do you keep doing that?" she asked. She yawned frowning at herself. She hated that she was tired. She wondered if soon she was going to turn into a cat because of how much she slept.

"You're a dead sleeper who talks way too much in her sleep. I've told you before I don't want to know your personal life."

Her hands flew to her mouth. What could she have said? Too much? She hated that he was on top of everything and always knew ay too much. She hated that and felt anger inside, hidden, start to boil.

"What did I say?" she asked wanting to know the answer and not wanting to at the same time.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked with a real serious face.

"Yes," she nodded with fear. She had to cover it somehow so she said, "I want to know whether I'm lying or not, you know it could be mumble jumble just from dreams."

"You broke your mother's favorite ceramic mug and blamed it on your father, your muggle friend Tommy was so mean to you pulled his hair so hard you took chunks with you and you once fed tuna fish to ducks because your mother told you not to."

Her mouth dropped. So maybe she was having one too many one-sided conversations in her sleep and he had heard.

"So many I do talk too much like you once told me in detention."

"Yes."

"Well," she tried to save herself, "He got what was coming to him."

"I bet." He answered. He ate his food while she watched with satisfaction. She was still fascinated with the whole teachers have lives besides teaching in the classroom. She didn't think she'd ever get over it.

"Why are you staring? Do you want some?"

She shook her head in decline holding up a hand knowing her stomach couldn't handle it. "No, I'm not staring because I am hungry, it just doesn't cease to amaze me that you do normal things like cook."

"You are such a child, when are you going to grow up?"

"I don't know, maybe someday but not right now. You need to be very carefree in times like these, you know?"

"You mean careful?" he automatically corrected.

"Yeah," she said as an afterthought, "That too." She tapped her knuckles on the table three times, "Let me bathe then I'll clean or something. I don't know." She shrugged feeling just how tight her neck and shoulders were. She rolled them twice.

"Why?" he asked.

"I have to do something. If I wanted to do nothing I would've stayed with my mum and dad, you should feel special."

He gave her a ridiculous look and she burst out in giggles making herself feel a little better, a little of her mood lifted.

She stood up and even though she wobbled she headed into the next room and gingerly up the steps.


	12. Chapter 12

"I thought you said you were going to 'clean or something?'" Snape asked from the doorway to the guest bedroom.

Tonks curled tighter in the blanket facing the wall in an awkward ball. Her bad leg stuck out at an awkward angle. It was bad enough that taking a shower was an effort without getting it wet but also she stumbled and had a nice shiner on her forehead. She felt miserable again, just like that and managed to get dress and crawl right back into bed with a growling stomach and nauseous stomach acid gurgling inside of her.

"I don't feel well again." The window open a gentle breeze blew in knocking some papers off the night dresser next to the bed.

"Pathetic," he said. He came into the room and perched on the end of the bed.

"Sorry we all can't be immortal and greatly powerful like you," she bid out sarcastically in her cocoon.

"I know," he agreed.

It became silent. He just sat there and she fell asleep, back to her cat-like state with a fatigue the only thing that was happening to her lately. She didn't even know if she was having a fever or well anymore. Everything was just so mixed up.

He left the room when he knew she was asleep.

-

-

She woke up knowing it was night time out because everything was completely dark outside and in the room. She used her wand to see two feet in front of her and pushed her nasty hair back out of her face. She felt a little better like before when she woke up and knew that it wouldn't last but with the little energy she had she had to get something to eat. Her stomach clenched, grumbled and groaned from the empty pit feeling.

She dragged her butt out of bed with the blanket around her as always and went downstairs in the dimly lit house. A fire blazed in the fire place casting eerie shadows in the furniture and corners. What caught her eye the most was a bowl of soup on the coffee table with a napkin and spoon; a nice presentations she thought amused.

"Aw, how sweet," she smiled to herself. She went over and sat down on the floor and spooned some into her mouth and grinned so wide it hurt her cheeks. She made a contented sigh. Not only was it warm but was homemade. He knew how to take care of the sick, she'd give him that. He was doing a good job and it made her wonder if he had a good side to him after all or a caring nurturing side that nobody ever saw it gave him reason to show.

_Yeah right_ she thought and Azkaban is full of people with hidden good hearts or whatever was there for them. It couldn't be.

But whatever it was it was working and she still liked it, a lot, someone to take care of her and give her the space she needed; he didn't want to be bothered most of the time anyways, he was a very lone person, a loner who knew exactly what he was doing.

She drained her soup to a empty bowl and put the spoon back onto the napkin feeling very full, very content and satisfied that she was feeling okay and the house was dull and perfect; as id she was in a library at night. She needed more light but wasn't going to push her luck and just enjoy Snape's house to herself.

Well at least she thought she was alone. She gazed around to make sure but couldn't sense anyone around. She stood gingerly and went over to the closest bookshelf and took a random book and opened it up. It was a novel, a very old one with tiny scripted type written words and yellow pages. Everything else looked just as old so she took it to the couch where she would soon have a groove, planted herself into that spot and on her stomach she opened up to page one and began to read.

-

-

Snape aparated in. She was not surprised at his brisk entrance. She knew that he was only going to come and go that way. She wondered if his neighbors wondered about him. She wanted to meet one of them but thought better of it.

She leaned her face on the book.

"Good evening Severus," she spoke, voice muffled by the book.

"Good evening Nymphadora." He said back.

She lifted her head wanting so badly to give him the finger but reframed from doing so. She decided not to tell him that she was feeling well when he cared only when she wasn't. She would just continue on like that hoping it would stay that way.

"Well, you have a wonderful evening and I must thank you for the wonderful care you have left for me in your absence."

"You're welcome as long as it doesn't end up all over the place again," he eyed her conspicuously.

"Not making any promises there but I will clean up after myself this time," she said a determination she knew she couldn't keep the promise to.

"Doubtful," he countered, apparently knowing what she was all about all along.

"Excuse me," he said with that sack again as he disappeared upstairs.

She returned to the book only on page three and shut the book and put it on the floor and closed her eyes draping her arms over her face.

Snape came back down on his way to the kitchen but stopped in mid stride. She could feel him look down at her.

"What happened to reading the book, rather than to leave it on to the floor to get stepped on? Or slept on? Or tripped over, hm?"

"My eyes are tired and they hurt and are dry because of the fine print and the dim light in here. Do you have any piece of writing in this house that is of regular size and understandability?"

"Yes," he said.

She lifted her head, "Really?" she asked.

He went over to the farthest left shelf and pulled out a folder and snuck it under her folded arms and took a seat in his chair with a few things to read and fill out.

She sat up with the folder and put it in her lap and opened it to see the name Hermione Granger. It was an essay by her from a few years ago.

She shifted through the pieces of parchment until she got to the last one which was her's from her sixth year. It was crinkled and ripped in corners. She remembered when writing it she fell asleep in the library. When Madam Pince awoke her for her 'disruptive' breathing she got real mad at Snape and used her essay as a rant to him.

She looked back at the other essays and read them; each and every one of them until she got to her's which she read three times before slowly inclining her head toward Snape who was writing a million miles a minute. She didn't understand how he could read in such dim light let alone write in it.

Why didn't he need glasses already? She knew she was going to need them if this continued.

"Why do you have one of my essays in a folder of very interesting ones? Is this a compare and contrast essay of how to do one and how to do one correctly?"

"No."

"Clearly it's not a good essay; I can't write and never had a good essay in any of my classes. I'm more of a hand on type of person."

"I see," he said, "But for once I can actually see that you stayed awake in my class and actually paid attention."

"You actually like it?" she asked in astonishment. She watched him but he didn't look at her, just continued to work on whatever it was that he was working on. It didn't faze him that she was shocked at the fact that he enjoyed it. "My essay isn't like any of these. Mine was a rant, I was mad, I just went on and one and on-"

"Like you always do in talking, besides its perfect."

She was actually shocked to hear that. She said, "I might start to like you and start to tell my friends."

"Skipping down the hall singing, I'll pass on that," he said giving her a quick look.

"You know you miss me there."

"Yeah," he abided in his most sarcastic tone, "Each and every single day."

It was so painfully sarcastic that she burst out laughing right there in the quiet living room loudly.

"That wasn't even funny," his voice broke her jolly like a needle in a balloon.

"I guess not but I think that's as close to a joke that I'm going to get from you."

"Mh," he agreed.

She reread the essays again then set them on the table and laid down. She didn't feel that tired, just a little weak as in strength. Laughing zapped all her strength.

At least it was worth it.

"Do you think the war will ever be over?" she asked him quietly and out of the blue. She never really asked anyone this before but to him she didn't know she just felt that maybe she could ask him since he was who he didn't appear be. Maybe they could talk a chuck at it; a little one.

"Never," he answered.

"No, I mean, you know with the dark lord. Will there ever be peace here?"

"All how it turns out and knowing who your enemy is and your connection with them."

"There is connection with the enemy, that's the wrong thing to do; it's like me going to a family reunion, not only am I not wanted there I don't belong there interacting with the likes of them."

"What you said about no connection with the enemy, you are here aren't you?" He took his attention off his work and set it all aside.

"I don't consider you an enemy, I consider you confused as to what you want."

"Confused?" he asked. He leaned forward giving her his attention like he really wanted to know her answer. And regardless she wasn't afraid to give it to him.

She scratched her clumpy dark dry hair, one she hadn't brushed in a while and looked to him, unafraid and said, "Yeah, you, as obviously bore the dark mark, but you are also a "secret" member of the Order of the Phoenix, so what I think is you're like a child."

He raised a brow at the kid remark.

"Yeah," she smirked, "As in you're trying to please everyone and cannot do so. On yeah, you're a child, that reference that slipped my mind is one with two parents who are getting a divorce. You cannot choose sides but have to work to exhaustion to please both of them indifferent ways not disrupting the other one. In a way it's like a balancing act you have to be careful to keep."

"Hmm," he said as if he was thinking about it but he wasn't and said, "You think you have it all figured out. Maybe you are right but maybe you are completely wrong. Maybe just maybe I'm using one side for the other's benefit or the other side around, what do you think of that?" he challenged her and she had to actually think about that.

"Weeellll," she said not really sure. She bit the lower inside of her lip and said, "It would really be a bummer because I don't think I could ever see you as a cold blooded bastard, but I can see you as very manipulative and dark though not evil. You could use your gifts for good which I think our side could use at times like these."

He smirked, a one side of the mouth smirk which looked difficult for him but then he chuckled to himself.

"You think so?"

"I am not naive," she cut in.

"I never said you were though this fantasy you've created is just that. Let me ask you something and you have to be honest. Can you be honest?"

"Yeah."

"Let me ask you and you have to tell the truth that you even for a second have ever considered joining the other side or even to consider not being fully on one side? Have you ever considered that the other side can give you more justice than the other, that you can actually do what you want to do?"

"No," she answered honestly, "I'm quite content with what I am and what I do."

"Are you now?" he asked.

"Stop making me try to second guess myself, I know who I am, it's you who doesn't know who he is and what he wants to do." She hated that her made her almost want to second guess why she on the side of good and not on the side of bad where most of her family had been and still remains.

But she wasn't like them. She didn't act like them or have contact with them unless she counted her aunt, but she was locked in jail.

"You have power Nymphadora, powers not many have. They are screwed up right now but when they are at their best you're, like you told me pretty much invincible."

It sounded to her like he was feeding her the same thing to him so she smiled and said, "I know that's why I'm fighting for good and not the other side so yeah, I think if you want to be successful you had better side with me."

He laughed a real laugh and cracked up entirely like she had done not too long ago in this spot. It was weird to hear it from his mouth and a strange site to see his face gain color and his cheeks puffed out. If she was still a student she'd be in quite the aw struck, just to hear the laugh she'd probably never hear again.

She felt insulted but if she let him get to her then she would be letting him win. She had to let it go because if she started questioning herself again then he would definitely win.

"We'll I'm glad you've enjoyed the idea." She stood with her blanket wrapped it around her head and body. She said, "You should laugh more, I like the sound and it makes you a better person if you can see the right in things. You'd be happier if you knew that and used it, so I bid you goodnight since it is already real late. Good night Severus."

He was calm and collective by now; he returned to his work but caught her eyes on the steps.

"Good night Nymphadora."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Tonks slept through the rest of the night peacefully. When she awoke in the morning she felt relaxed and in every sense of the word, better. She felt great, like her spirit was back in her and she was ready to do her day and not sleep the whole thing away.

But she knew better than to overdo it. She knew she had to take it easy because anything could set her off.

Everything felt good except for a heavy draft she felt the whole time there. The place had evil hidden behind walls and evil spirits lurking everywhere and they would not leave her alone.

She took the blankets and put them all to the side and grabbed her bag and went into the bathroom and washed up, making herself very decent and avoiding the mirror at all cost.

She went downstairs and the house was empty and quiet. He wasn't there, which didn't surprise her. He had many secret things to do, it was hard to straddle the fence and handle everything.

A riffled blanket on the couch stopped her in her tracks. A memory of Remus flashed in her mind of when he had come home once and she was sleeping on the couch, he had come right over and laid with her telling her that he missed her and that he loved her and that he felt a heavy pain in his heart when she wasn't with him.

It made her cry because he lied. He said that and must've not meant it because he was gone and wasn't going to come back.

She picked up a few things and just threw them. A jagged rock on the coffee table was grabbed. She was ready to throw it, but her arm was caught and grasped tightly, too tightly.

Snape. He had done it before when he bum rushed the door she was going to walk through.

"What are you doing besides throwing and destroying my property?" he asked quite surprised and quite not at the same time.

She tried to break away but his grasp wouldn't let up or let go.

"Cleaning up," she said sarcastically. She had to make up some excuse so she said, "I don't like how everything is in here. I was going to fix up."

He snapped his hand away quickly which jerk her arm right in her socket. The jagged rock fell to the floor with a dull thud.

"Pathetic."

"Pathetic1?" she said, "Pathetic is this place. Dark, dirty, depressing; you live like this. No wonder nothing good happens for you, you won't let it. If any-"

"If you don't like it, the door is that way," he indicated.

"No," she dropped her voice, "You made an offer and I intend to see it through."

"Then keep your mouth shut." He was gone again. She looked around, picked up the stuff she threw, by hand and picked up the rock, having seen it before but not remembering exactly where.

-

-

She made herself some breakfast and then found the difficult, small printed book again where she left off, pulled up a shade and sat under the window and read as best as she could. She didn't hear him or anything else for that matter.

-

-

She was about to drift off to sleep when a shadow came over her. She beamed into focus.

"Wotcher," she said.

"Join me for lunch," and he went off into the kitchen.

"Yeah sure." She closed the book, having gotten pretty far. She liked it. It was still just the writing being too small. Whoever wrote it must've really had good eyes to see it, or not see it if they didn't like what they were writing.

The book went on the sill and she stood, stretching her legs and arms. She went into the kitchen and took the seat right across from him.

"Shall we?"

She nodded. Both began to eat. It was delicious. She cupped a hand over her mouth and grinned with a chuckle.

"What?" he questioned. He eyes her suspiciously while he ate.

"This is real good," she commented truthfully. She put some more into her mouth.

A tiny smirk twitched his lips. It was small but she caught it none the same, and it made her happy that he, even though he didn't show it, was happy as well.

"Okay, this is totally weird, and a completely different side to you." She didn't want to say that she always thought of him as one track again.

"There are so many sides to everyone, as there are to myself. Some things I do may be lies, but you'll never know." He gave her a straight faced look, one that all his secrets all within.

"I guess not, but the sides you have shown me, I've enjoyed, so in the regular setting I'll remember these to what's really going on."

"You really want to believe that, don't you?" he asked.

"I don't want to, I do," she answered back. Her leg gave a twang. She scrunched in pain, then leaned onto the table but her elbow when It released. She bounced her leg twice.

"Problem?" he asked.

"Oh, no," she said straightening up, "My leg was falling asleep. I just has to wake it up."

"I bet."

She shrugged. She wanted to believe that she was getting better, that she'd become completely healed by Friday. She had to stay positive, she had to completely believe in that.

"Honestly," she said spooning some food into her mouth, "I'm fine. I'm more than fine, I'm in excellence."

"Then tell me when are you going to transform into your usual self; your most 'unique you?'"

She had to laugh. Sometimes he said the most normal things in odd ways.

"When I'm good and ready," she flashed her palms three times telling him to 'hold his horses.'

"Besides, I think I'll need some sugar to be completely healed. Candy! I know you don't have any here; you should buy me some."

He nodded his head once.

"Really?" she exclaimed like a child. She quickly covered her mouth. If it was one thing that was her weakness it was candy from her favorite place in Hogsmade; Honeydukes.

"Yes, when you are better." He was dead serious, but she smiled.

"Child," he spit under his breath. She wanted t say something just as childish but reframed from doing so because he was going to do something so out of person that she could never picture; him in the candy store buying candy. Where were the news reporters when you really needed them?

"So," she said, trying to keep everything light and not broading and dark like last night. Who always wanted those things on their minds all the time when it was the only thing happening around?

An idea formed quickly and left her mouth; said, "How come you haven't had anyone over? You must be crazy wild with your fellow blokes? You must throw parties, hm?"

"All the time," he said with that sarcastic tone that made her crack up last time. She continued this, with sarcasm and said, "Really?"

"No."

"But do you have company?"

"Why do you ask so many personal questions? Want me to do the same to you, like you're interrogating me right now?" He raised a brow.

"You use legimacy, a cheat, but in honest conversation, yeah, ask me something. We can talk about it."

"Anything?" he asked.

"Within range," she shrugged, "You know, and I have option of not answering."

"Of course."

"Then it's my turn. Why were you living in that pathetic Muggle building?"

She scoffed. She actually liked the building and all its corky features. She missed it now, which made her sad. No more loud music on late night when she got out of work just to piss off her neighbors.

"Hey, I liked my building. I liked where I lived. It was peaceful, quiet and I was never bothered until now. Now I don't have my home, but I did have my revenge and I will get it again and again until I feel that I have gotten justice."

"You obviously couldn't do magic there, how could you possibly live?" The meal was done but they still sat at the table.

"Oh, quit the opposite, I did actually."

"But why was it so easy for your home to be raided?"

She knew that was coming next and she had wanted to avoid it, but there it was.

"Truthfully," she began, but then sat up with a quick eye and changed pace and said, "Now don't take this as my fault and to pull in and then throw right back at me."

She waited for an answer but he didn't falter image so she continued and said, "I felt safe."

"A false sense of security?" he asked.

She nodded. "Well what you say is true, no matter how hard it is to believe, but yeah, I know better and yet I thought I was safe and protected because there was nobody, well actually knew who I was except one girl. I know one girl from my Hogswart days is living there even though I didn't know her like that. I didn't talk to her or anything. We just know each other."

"Sonya?"

She didn't know how he knew, but kept up to her assumption that he knew too much and even more than he let up to know.

"So," she said back, but in her mind she went; damn, damn, damn. Could she have been on it too with Alayna?

"She has a baby now."

"Really, I just thought she was chucky. How do you know?"

"Sit tight," he said getting up from his chair and disappearing into the living room.

She looked down at her leg and moved up the pants and saw that a faint pink was starting to seep through. It wasn't anything yet but she knew soon enough it would, and then it would be another session with Dr. Snape. If he was ever let go from Hogswart he could find another job pretty quickly with his talents and smarts.

He came back into the kitchen and handed her a photograph. The picture showed Sonya smiling up, gently rocking the bundle of joy in her arms.

"I must've never paid attention that closely then to not have noticed this," she said still in awed fascinated sentiment about the photo.

"You never pay attention anyways."

She pursued her lips at him and handed him the picture back. "I never knew her like that anyways so it's cool. I'm very happy for her and I wish her the best and a- wait. How did you get the picture?"

"She sent it to me. Apparently, I was one of her favorite teachers." He knew he wanted to smile, she could see it on his face, but also knew he want going to do so because that was the way he just was.

"Apparently." She said. She leaned back in her chair feeling content. "Anything else that you want to know?" she smiled across to him.

"Hm, my last question is; why did you become an Auror?"

"Because housekeeper was taken," she quickly answered.

He didn't find it funny.

"Okay, you know I am not the most stable person on their feet, but I am a Metamorphmangus and because of my mother I knew that I had to help people and prevent evil. My mother told me that her sisters; Bellatrix and Narsissa all grew up the same and that there is no excuse to the way they turned out. They were family and family should always stick together no matter how far. But that didn't happen so I feel that besides stopping evil in its tracks I have to prevent my family from hurting other families." She looked at her empty plate hating him knowing it, but happy with him knowing that what his people were doing was bad and hurting people. He may not care but at least he knew about it and it gave him something to think about and he looked like the person to think about everything even though he didn't voice his thoughts.

"Well you have your wishes," he said.

She smiled. So she did and she was happy that he could see that even though she hated her job most of the time she was glad that she was there doing what she wanted. Once she was better she was going to get back to work to get those who didn't want her to work hard and be happy.

"Now is there anything you need before I disappear?"

"Yeah," she clenched her teeth feeling a bit self-conscious, for unknown reasons, "My leg is bleeding again, can you change the bandage?"

"Mh hm," he said and with his wand he conjured up the supplies and put her leg on his lap and rolled up the pant leg. His hands felt ice cold this time; like a real doctor's.

Instead of watching the action of her leg she watched him and how precise he was at what he was doing and how his concentration never faltered. He did without a thought, like he knew what he was doing and it never came with a thought. Maybe he had a lot of practice, maybe not.

She didn't ask because she felt she already asked too much but knew that she was going to ask him more questions later on because she was interested because she didn't know hardly anything about him and was just curious about him.

"I am a teacher and will not be a medi-wizard so stop thinking that and no I did not use occlumency on you. It's written all over your face." He made the sensation feeling come back again. She liked it so much; it made being hurt not so bad.

"You never know," she said and cut her next comment off before it left her lips and just watched him and how his left arm twitched as well as his facial features. They happened simultaneously and she could see it even with him hunched over and that was when it all made sense to her what was going on: his _left _arm hurt, not the right and though he tried to hide it, and he did well, she was so close she could see everything; like an open book being read.

"You're all down," he said, eyes on her.

"Thank you," she said.

"Do you want me to carry you like last time, or maybe you've actually gained balance on your feet."

"You're making fun of me, and no I don't want you to carry me. I'm going to sit here for a little while and _digest_ _everything_."

"Great. I'll be going," he said with everything cleared. He turned to leave when she said, "You better; because I hate when evil lingers."

He stood there and said, "Then don't turn any corners." Just like that he was gone. She put her leg on the chair he had been sitting on and leaned back against the back of her chair.

What's the matter, she mused to herself, are you late for a meeting of your other persuasion?

When it hurt too much to keep her back straight and her leg on the chair she moved it off and leaned forward finding more comfort that way.

She knew what was in front of her, and yet she wanted even for a second to believe that maybe it was possible for him to be different, to maybe even be a better person.

But that wasn't possible so she had to bear the empty house and the feeling that even though he could grin and bear her for the time being nothing was left unchanged after this; no matter how much she wanted it to be so.


	14. Chapter 14

Tonks 14

Tonks heard his arrival when he came home, but wasn't going to go and greet him. It was very late and soon his arrival was over an hour.

She heard him come upstairs and go into his room, but that was it; no cursing, no pain or no doors slamming. Everything was quiet, except for her. She was in pain again, with all her symptoms returning and the bandaged leg was just as bad.

She withered on the bed trying to find comfort; any kin of comfort, but nothing worked. Everything hurt just like the first time abnd she couldn't understand it. She had a very good day and now it was ruined, and all the pain was back.

She cried out in pain in the dark room as a strong wave of bile rose in her throat. She tore out of the room and ran right through the dark hall and straight into the bathroom where she threw up straight into the toilet. The soup from yesterday, gone, all the conversation they had earlier was gone as well. Everything went into the toilet, so why not the whole 'bonding' experience?

She thre up quit a lot and by the time she was finished she was drained of all energy, smelled very bad and was sweating profusely with a headache throbbing her eye region.

She managed though to stand up and flush the toilet, and go to the sink and wash her face and hands. The whole place was completely dark that she surprised herself that she had done everything without a light. She would have given herself more props but given her condition she couldn't even pat herself on the back.

She coughed a wild cough and pulled sweaty hair off her forhead and her eyes watered. She wanted to cry but that would require energy and she didn't have any to spare.

She staggered into the hall and made her way back to her room where she laid right on the edge of the bed, right on top of the covers in case she had to make a mad rush to the bathroom.

She thought about the floor but didn't think her body would have the energy to get up and make a rush.

She shook lightly with a speeding heart trying to control itself down to normal. She felt chills from her sweat but couldn't reach up and wipe her face with her sleeve. She was just glad that she had made it back to bed and could rest her wary head.

"Wrong bed," came Snape's voice from right behind her and her heart sank right into a million pieces. She had to move but she couldn't move, couldn't get out of bed. Her body wasn't cooperating and now she had to summon some energy from somewhere just to move.

She had to try. With herself halfway off the bed already she moved a tiny bit over the edge and fell into a painful heap on the floor. The extra pain with her pain already mingled maker her very aware of an approaching dark unconsciousness. She cried in a self plea, "Please don't make me move." She hoped that he'd have a heart, even if she was on the floor.

She heard him sigh in pity, or frustration; she didn't know which. She heard the bed squeak as he moved over to where she had laid moments ago.

"Help me help you lift yourself up onto the bed," he whispered.

She gave a weak nod and sat up, turn around. She felt his firm grip on her waist lift her right onto the bed. She curled up instantly to the side she was on and she felt her heart beating again. Her bad leg laid under her good one. She was going to let dark unconsciousness take over and nothing else. Since her eyes were already closed she nuzzled the sheets to bury her face in and felt him lift the blankets from under her and secure them around her warmly. He laid back down, moving onto his side giving her space, and turned to face the wall getting more comfortable himself.

-

-

She had that same nightmare again, where she was held down but the shadowed figure and the wolf was howling. She couldn't see the wolf but she knew it was there. She fought the figure.

"You'll never see him again," the shadow said. She knew the voice to be Greyback and she fought. She fought him and managed to shove him away and get to her feet.

"You are wrong," she said. She didn't have a wand or the means of a cloak as protection, but she said, "You're wrong. Nobody will ever see you again, and I will make sure of that. You may have hurt him once but you will never do it again."

"Why do I need to do it, he's already doing it to you on his own."

"She cried out, "You're wrong, he's only protecting me."

"If you believe that."

She awoke with her pillow soaked, lying in her bed. Sometimes between laying in his bed and now with it being morning he moved her. She didn't feel it and didn't care because the nightmare was fresh on her mind. Remus was coming back, she knew it. He wasn't gone for good, he just couldn't be.

And yes, he had hurt her, but he had things to do, dangerous tasks he ahd to complet and he couldn't with having to worry about her.

She took the pillow and smothered it over her face and screamed into it. She was making excuses for him. He left and that was all there was to it. He left without a care as to how she was feeling.

He left and he wasn't coming back.

Tonks threw the blankets and pillow on the floor; everything went off the bed and she curled up tightly, even if she wasn't tired she shut her eyes tightly. She hated herself for not knowing how to feel anymore and hated the stupid room because all it made her do was think and feel bad. She knew she needed rest, but also knew that she'd get a more relaxed sleep downstairs where she didn't feel completely alone, even in the absence of his company.

For the millionth time she wrapped herself in the blanket and headed downstairs and lay on the couch. She knew Snape was there but didn't know what he was going. His presence was in the room but he didn't say anything. He continued to do whatever he was doing and she ladi there staring at the leg that belonged to the coffee table. She wondered how many times he had banged his leg on it in the dark? She would bet it at least had to be a few times. Not everyone was graceful all the time.

"You ever hit your leg on the leg of the coffee table?" she asked. She sat up and set the blanket aside. She was feeling warm, not sickly warm.

"What was that?" he asked.

She looked at him to see that he was looking on the shelf again for something and it made her wonder if it was the same thing as last time because the last time he looked he didn't come out satisfied and so he must've still been looking.

"Nothing," she said skipping over the question to repeat again. Instead she had to ask, "What are you looking for?"

He closed the book he was looking through and put it back on the shelf choosing another which he went right to the index.

"I am looking up information. I am not merely going to thrust you into something without knowing if you are guaranteed survival or not."

"Thanks," she managed out bitterly, not really happy with that information. After recovering she wasn't quite sure she'd live long enough now to enjoy it. What tasks could he want her to do?

Then it hit her, what if it was some bidding for the Dark Lord? And, or his followers? If that was that then she would have the firm hand when it came to 'suddenly' changing her mind.

"I am not, in any way doing any bidding when it comes to something for the Dark Lord." She made sure that when he looked at her he saw just how serious she was.

"My dear Nymphadora what favors I ask of you are for the thoughts between you and I, just like your stay here as you already know."

"Yes, yes, quite so," she answered. So everything was very secretive to him, she knew she wouldn't tell anybody so what stopped her from pressing the subject?

"Hey c-"

"Hey?" he said ridiculously, like as if to wonder why she said it to him.

She narrowed her eyes even though he couldn't see it. "Anyways, can I ask you something and can you answer it for me?"

"I thought we were done with personal questions. Do you want me to heat some water and we can grill each other again?"

"No, no I'm being serious," she said.

"Yes, you can ask, but I'm not guaranteed to answer."

"Well I know it's none of my business and all but what happened that night you came back injured? How did you get hurt?"

Something she said must've sparked an idea in him because he went on the search scanning spines until he pulled a green book out and furiously flipped through pages.

"So can you tell me?" she asked, frustrated that he was so into the book he had ignored her question entirely.

"What was that?" he asked absentmindedly reading a page; really just standing there reading it.

"Forget it," she pulled the blanket around herself and laid down stuffing her face into the couch. He was glued to the work and whatever she said sparked it. She knew that she should not have been mad. After all, maybe she had helped him out?

She listened to him read under his breath, agreeing and disagreeing with himself. She liked that he enjoyed what he did and that even though it was for all the wrong reasons, reasons of evil he had to take care of information to _maybe_ endure her safety.

She thought she should be touched. Kinda.

Snape came over and sat at her back, where she curled into the couch at the bend of her spine.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Let me see your finger nails," he commanded. She knew he was balancing the book on the crook of one of his elbows and a hand. She knew this because the other tried to pull the blanket away and search for her arm to pull up to get to her hand. She pulled her arm out from where she thought she felt a knut and held it in the ari until he pulled her hand down and bend at the elbow. He pulled her fingers closer and examined her nails. Pressing one tightly he released it.

She tried to move her hand away but he didn't let go.

"What are you looking for?" she asked.

He pulled her pointer back painfully.

"Ow, you bloody bastard," she squealed pulling away and stuffing her hand back into the cushions where she grabbed the knut and held it loosely in her palm.

"You're a waste of space lying there, I thought I'd let you know. As for your earlier question, just think of what occurred on Tuesday."

She wracked her brain but all she could remember was falling asleep, waking, then sleeping again. It was nothing important, and she couldn't remember most of it anyways.

"I slept, what was so important anyways?" The cushions still didn't smell or anything. It was the perfect couch.

"What happens on that day every month?"

Then it occurred to her what he was talking about. Full moon. Tuesday night was the full moon and he had gone to give Remus the wolfs bane. He had seen Remus, but he returned injured? She needed to know what happened there, and what happened to Severus, and if he knew where he was and what he was doing now.

He closed the book and went over to the shelf to put it back.

"Please tell me," she begged sitting up, "Do you know where Remus is?"

"Yes, but that's not important right now, what-"

"It is! Where is Remus? I want to be where he is."

"You can't," he said. He walked into the kitchen with her following quickly.

"Severus, where is he? Why would he leave with a disconnection from me like he did?" In his face she grabbed the scruff of his robes with him standing there ever so calmly.

"Because Nymphadora," he eased her hands off, "Your mate went in head-first without thinking, not caring for whether he was going to live or die, or affect those around him until he saw the dangers in the whole thing. He thought he could just forget everything, like that and simply did that. Someone needed to remind him that he had something very important. Even if he didn't care, he had something to think about and return to."

Return to? Something to think about?

Then it all clicked in. He always made the potion for him, but this time, no matter where he was, he found him and told him about her. He made him feel guilty. Was the reason he fought with him because he defended her? Was that why he was injured?

"Is he coming back?" she croaked weakly.

"Yes, Sunday," he said and she burst into tears, crying into her hands.

He did it for her. He saw the damage and he wanted to fix it for her. Maybe he did have a heart after all. Maybe he cared.

Maybe.

"Then what's wrong with me?"

"You," he said, "The problem is you. That's it."

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

"Allow yourself to heal, that's all.

She looked at him with a quivering lip and tried to smile but just ended up crying. He was going to return, but was he going to feel the same?

She decided then that she was going to give him a piece of her mind, and let him know exactly how she felt and what she wanted. She was going to be strong and be happy.

"Okay," she said, "That's enough of my soap opera. I'm going to go lay down now, so yeah, bye." She excused herself and went back to the couch and resumed her position. Though she felt like a weight was lifted from her she felt "bad" but was okay, and now even a little excited. She couldn't wait to see him and she couldn't wait to heal. If she kept up the positive attitude on herself then she would heal before Sunday, which was only three days away, and that wasn't very long.

She heard him grumble to himself. Too bad he wasn't a drinker, otherwise she would have 'driven him to drink' by now.

She listened as he did his thing and soon again he was gone; like he had a million things to do every single day.

When she was home, day off, she was in her pajamas and not going anywhere or doing anything.

-

-

Snape made dinner that night and though she joined him looking halfway decent, but she was hesitant to eat anything.

"Dig in."

She looked at the food, and then him and said, "You know what happens every time I eat something you cook." She gave a quirked raised eyebrow.

"And who's problem is that?" he asked her, also with a quirked eyebrow mocking her.

"Yours."

He shrugged and started to eat.

She picked up her fork and stabbed into a potato chuck and took a bite, testing the waters to see whether she'd immediately get a stomachache or not, but found herself to be enjoying it, so she ate more which was really good.

"How do you know how to cook?" she asked between mouthfuls.

"How come you don't- wait. I wouldn't let you near anything in the kitchen."

"Ha, ha," she pointed her fork at him giving him the evil eye. She said, "Even someone like you makes mistakes sometimes, and you cannot tell me differently."

"No."

"Sure, sure. One day I'm going to lock away all those from your years at school and with them all together we're going to have a conversation about you."

"You do that and tell me what you get out, alright?"

"Yes," she agreed.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

She slept through the night just fine, and the next morning she woke up hanging halfway out of bed, and though she needed to work the kinks from lying at such an angle she felt great. She hadn't felt like that in a few days. It felt great to wake up without something wrong.

She pulled on fresh clothes and went downstairs to see that he wasn't home and no wonder; it was almost eleven in the late morning.

She found herself some breakfast and sat in her favorite chair to eat. The lever was still broken from when she pulled it, and it basically got stuck. It wasn't going anywhere soon, so when she left and he looked at it, who knew? Maybe it would make him think of her?

While eating she looked around and the energy slowly faded from her. Not noticing from before but now, she saw a few things in jars such as parts from creatures that were bloody and suspended in some kind of liquid.

One in particular, different from the rest was a jar with a few dead rodents crammed in tight.

"Ewww, aww poor things. Probably caught them in here; probably wanted to die anyways," she spoke aloud to the lonely room because they sure weren't going to talk back.

Where did he always have to go? Was he obsessed with the image he held? She felt lonely. Usually she had people around, or she was at work where she had her friends and even just the people who didn't like her. They were around and there was noise, and always something going on.

But here, it felt very lonely and dark. Though it was warm, the warmth didn't hide the chill of evil which she knew she'd feel even when she left the place. She planned to leave tomorrow morning around ten. She stayed long enough so it was time to go home and get ready to go back to work on Monday, which she was actually looking forward to do.

She finished eating and found the newspaper on the kitchen table and was glad that the front page contained nothing on her. Instead it pressured the owner of a bookstore. Poor bloke probably didn't do anything anyways. Just another "conspiracy" when something real was going on somewhere else.

Snape popped in. It didn't scare her.

She gave him a small wave. He took a glance at her then took some steps toward the living room.

"Why even have light in the room with hair like that," he said sarcastically going to leave, but stopped.

Both of them stopped. She got up from her seat quickly and grabbed the toaster and looked in it to see that her hair was the brightest of yellows like the color one would use at a baby shower.

"Oh my," she jumped giddily on spot, and clapped her hands lightly, "Yeah! I'm so glad." She stopped then and concentrated, then looked in the toaster again. Her lavender, shoulder length hair, bright bold eyes and smooth skin were back. She was back to her normal self and couldn't be any happier.

"Tada!" she struck a pose.

For mockery he gave a small one tap clap.


	16. Chapter 16

On Saturday, by ten in the morning she had everything packed up in her bag and went downstairs where he was to see her off.

"I'm still alive," she commented, stumbling on the last two steps but catching herself before she face planted.

He looked down at the ripped jeans she had on; ripped and tattered and exposing way too much flesh.

"How long have you had those?" he questioned.

"Hmmm, I don't know. A while too long, I guess." She shrugged. "They are worn and fit and I like them."

"I remember you ripping them falling down the stands."

She suddenly remembered it too. She frowned and said, "Like I said, you are only supposed to remember the good things."

"Mhm." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of candy and held it out to her.

"What's this?" she asked, obvious to what it was. She knew it was too late to correct herself.

"I told you I'd get it, didn't I?"

"I was just messing around with you," she chuckled.

"Even so, it's yours."

She took the bag. "Thank you, though I can't picture you walking into the candy store."  
He gave no reply.

"Thank you for everything. I know it's just to return a favor, but I really appreciate it. I never could've pictured you like this, and you proved me wrong."

"That's all gone now. Everything returns to normal."

"Oh course," she agreed.

Things became strained because she wanted to do something, but didn't think it would fly over pretty well with him. But then she let that go and put her arms around his neck in a tight embrace, holding on as he put his arms around her back and leaned into her embrace as well.

It was a real hug, and felt a little emotional, but let it all go when they broke apart.

-

-

Tonks sat at the kitchen table with a glass of wine that was half empty. She felt scared about his reaction and what he was going to think or feel when he saw her sitting there. He didn't know that she was going to be sitting at the table, or even there waiting for him. He didn't know about her apartment, unless he read the paper or heard the gossip.

Okay, so maybe he did know.

He didn't know about her stay at Severus Snape's to heal _all_ her wounds. He only knew about her from the Severus about her in the last Order meeting.

-

-

With the cup drained of any last drops she laid asleep on her arms on the table unaware of the extra presence in the kitchen with her. When the glass was lightly trying to be prided then with with success out of her fingers was when she finally woke up and saw none other than Remus Lupin.

"What are you doing here?" she asked undetermined and harshly. She took back her glass and set it on the table and looked at him as harsh as her words. She didn't want to be like that. And also by the looks of him, he looked very tired and battened. She wanted to let him sleep and heal his wounds, but she just couldn't let him yet.

Remus sighed and sat down across from her

"Tonks. I can't begin to imagine what kind of pain I have put you through, and I know no apology I can say to you will ever make up for it."

She listened, starting to feel emotional. She wasn't going to say anything. She didn't think she could comment to anything with the wind in her and her emotional stability.

"But I have to try anyways and say that I am sorry for everything; for ever hurting you, for saying that I don't need you. You make me a better man, you make me believe in myself when I have so much doubt and you make me see why I am fighting in the first place, and how we all have to fight together."

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was a dumb fool for ever giving you up, and would be an even bigger fool for continuing to let you go. I can't do it anymore, so I want to ask you for your forgiveness and to please give this foolish man another chance at making you the happiest woman you could ever be."

Whatever plan of action she had; holding up a fight, being a bitch and even begging were forgotten as she nodded and leapt over the table and into the arms of the man she never wanted to lose again.

A painful week she had to suffer because he wasn't there, she knew wasn't going to happen again because he said he wasn't going to leave and she wasn't going to let him either.

The glass on the table rolled off with a shatter but was forgotten because wine or not, she knew what was happening and knew what had happened would never happen again. She was going to make sure of it.

She knew the one person who should be thanked for everything, but that would only embarrass him. She would keep it to herself and just go on with her side of the deal.

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One more chapter left.


	17. Chapter 17

This is the last chapter. I hope you have enjoyed my story.

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Monday morning, the sun was shining and the sky was the most prettiest of blues she had ever seen. Everything was bright about her personality as she left the elevator and took a few steps before she saw her 'bestest friend in the whole wide world' Kingsley Shacklebolt.

At a quick speed she launched herself at his back and jumped on, hooking herself to him. With his years of training and quick wit he caught her and balanced her and continued to walk.

"Did you miss me?" she asked ignoring the ugly looks they got. She didn't care because they were always there so they didn't bother her anymore.

"I counted down the days," he said honestly, but in a sarcastic way.

She saw her supervisor, so he put her down and they both stood relaxed but attentive.

She looked at Tonks and the way she was back to her old self with a critical eye. She had hidden distaste and disgrace for which she had be associated with the younger woman; all of which showed through her eyes. She put on Tonk's favorite fake look to push everything away and said, "Welcome back, your assignment is waiting for you on your desk." Then she walked away as if she couldn't stand to be in her presence any longer.

Tonks glanced up at Kingsley and he gave her a serious, mock look and said, "Welcome back Metamorphmangus," and they both quietly laughed as they made their way toward their offices.

It was great to be back to normal; working and having her close friend back.

She was also glad to have a new friend, even though he didn't, or wouldn't show it. If it wasn't for him she would not have gotten far or even saw things differently. Most importantly, she would not have Remus. She owed a lot to Severus Snape and would make up for it as soon as she got out of work that day.

She couldn't wait.

"Tonks?" He questioned.

"Yeah?" she wondered. She picked up the piece of parchment and scanned it quickly with her eyes; not one to sit and read long text's with small script for long periods of time.

"Where were you?"

She didn't need to think about it, she replied, "I was staying with a friend from school. She wanted to see me and I had no place else to go."

Well, at least some parts were true.

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There will be a sequel soon.


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